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Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126  rablenblank@gmail.com
<><>June 26, 2025, 30, Sivan 5785<><>
Rosh Chodesh Tamuz
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PLEASE BE MISPALLEL FOR MY DEAR CHASHUVA MECHUTAN
NASSON BAUMANN FOR A REFUAH SHELEIMA
Nasson ben Raitz
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Mazel Tov to Rabbi Jason Weiner
on having received the prestigious Rabbinical Council of America
Healthcare Chaplain of the Year award
and a special tribute from Rabbi Dr. Abraham Steinberg,
Ethics Chairman of Shaare Zedek Medical Center in Israel.
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“It is not what you say but how you say it.”
It does matter what you say and not only how you say it.

Aharon Hakohen Gadol knew how important it is what one says and how a person says it. He was able to bring shalom to married couples and make shalom between those who came to him with a machlokes.  We are mispallel for Shalom al Yisrael but a lot has to do with how we treat each other and that includes how we speak to each other. The following story is from “What A Story” by Rabbi Yechiel Spero, Artscroll Mesorah Publications Ltd. “More Talking Less Sandwich” Pages 43– 47 . Showing the differences between two people and their conversations are so opposite and different. “The following two stories are from the most powerful stories in this book. Interestingly, both of these memorable episodes took place in the same location, a sandwich shop.
“A sandwich shop?” you may ask. What can possibly happen in a sandwich shop that would be life-altering?
Read the stories and decide for yourself.
Yitzi, a yungerman, was learning in an out-of-town kollel. He loved his learning, and he and his wife were so pleased to start off their marriage immersed in Torah. However, he did not come from a wealthy home, nor id his wife. After several years, their funds began to dwindle. The time had come to move back to his hometown so Yitzi could find a job and support his family.
Without any real training or experience, it was not easy to find a job. After only six months, Yitzi found himself drowning in a huge hole of debt. He knew he had to find a job quickly, or he would sink into great a hole to dig his way out of.
One day, as inglorious as it sounds, Yitzi walked into Sendy’s Sandwiches, the local kosher sandwich shop, and asked if he could work behind the counter. As a proud ben Torah and yeshivahman, this was a difficult step. He certainly never envisioned himself working at a sandwich shop. Not that there’s anything wrong with it- it’s an honest way to make a living-but since he was going to be around many people in the community whom he knew well, it wasn’t ideal for him. He hoped it would tide him over for a few months until something better came along.
In spite of its name, Sendy’s was not exclusively for sandwiches. It also sold other prepared food items, especially for Shabbos, such as cholent, kugel, chopped liver, gefilte fish, salads and herring. In fact, on Erev Shabbos the store didn’t sell sandwiches at all. They were just too busy to make sandwiches, a process that usually takes time.
One Friday, as many customers came in asking for their Shabbos orders, Sendy’s Sandwich Shop was becoming more hectic by the moment. In the meantime, a very successful and wealthy fellow walked into the store. Talking and texting on his phone, he barely looked up and when he ordered his usual, a corned-beef sandwich, to go, with his Shabbos order. Trying to fill many orders at one time. Yitzi apologized and told the man that on Fridays the store did not make sandwiches. But the customer was none too pleased.
He asked- no demanded- his corned-beef sandwich. When Yitzi repeated that they don’t make sandwiches on Friday, the man looked at him in a very demeaning manner and asked, “Do I need to get the boss here, or are you gonna make me a sandwich?”
Yitzi knew that the customer and his boss, Sendy, were good friends and he wasn’t looking to make any waves, but the tone and the comment stung. Furthermore, with a store filled with customers, he was very embarrassed. But as he begrudgingly made the sandwich, the traffic in the store slowed to a halt and before long, Sendy’s was completely empty except for Yitzi and the customer. Still hurt by the comment, he looked up from the sandwich and addressed his arrogant customer.
“I just want you to know something. I didn’t always dream of being a sandwich maker. I’m just a few months removed from learning in an out-of-town kollel. Soon after leaving the kollel, I found myself heavy in debt. Since I don’t come from a wealthy family and I didn’t marry into one, I decided to work here for a few months so I can keep my head above water, or at least just beneath it, as I look for a real job.”
Still busily texting on his phone, the customer took a moment to glare at Yitzi. Then he tossed carelessly. “And why exactly are you telling me this?”
Yitzi wasn’t a whimp and he wasn’t particularly sensitive, but he felt like crying. Feeling extremely vulnerable, he told the well-to-do man in the most conciliatory tone he could muster, “ I was hoping that if you better understood my circumstances, perhaps it would change our relationship and the way you interact with me.”
In a dismissive and biting tone, the man snapped, “How about a little less talking and a little more sandwich?”
Yitzi was so incredibly humiliated he could barely breath.
That is story number one, a horrible one at that.
But in that very same sandwich shop, an angelic individual, Reb Boruch, acted in the opposite manner. Instead of belittling Yitzi, he lifted him up and raised his spirits in a way Yitzi never thought possible.
One day, Reb Boruch, an older and very well- respected man in the community, walked into Sendy’s. This story also took place on a Friday, but a quiet one. He asked for a few items and Yitzi, always with a cheerful disposition and upbeat attitude, packed up his items and wished him well. Before leaving, Reb Boruch, whom Yitzi did not recognize, struck up a conversation with Yitzi. It was filled with positivity and encouragement, and Yitzi soaked it all up.
On the following week, Reb Boruch came back and the scenario repeated itself. The order was relatively small, the conversation anything but at least to Yitzi. Reb Boruch shared a dvar Torah and asked about Yitzi well-being and the well being of his family. As the weeks went by, Reb Boruch’s visit was something Yitzi looked forward to. It was only one customer and it wasn’t a very long conversation, but it was extremely uplifting and meaningful to Yitzi.
About a year and an half later, Reb Boruch was sitting shivah for his father. Yitzi, who had since found himself a different job, made a point of being Menachem avel; he felt such gratitude to Reb Boruch. While there, he  told Reb Boruch’s son how Reb Boruch appeared out of nowhere one day in Sendy’s Sandwich Shop and must have really liked the food because he came back every week, and always with a positive word and an uplifting smile.
As soon as Yitzi finished telling his tale, Reb Boruch’s son began to  cry “Now let me tell you the story behind your story. One Friday about a year and a half ago, my father came home and told me how he’d walk into Sendy’s Sandwich Shop, looked at the guy behind the counter, and seen that he needed a pick-me-up. And so, even though he never needed the food, he made his business to visit you every day for one going home reason only, to give encouragement and chizuk to another word and one reason only, to give her encouragement and  chizuk to another  Yid who could use it.”
Yitzi could barely breath, but this time because he was so incredibly moved.
One Sandwich Shop. Two customers. Two conversations. One of them built an individual. The other nearly destroyed him. Today, Yitzi is a successful businessman, who makes more than enough to support himself and his family. But that’s not enough. He does everything within his power to help others stand on their feet, as well.
Hanging in his office is a big sign. Most have no idea what it means. But for Yitzi, it’s all the motivation he needs, a reminder of how to treat others and the difference a good or bad word can make,
“How about a little less talking and a little more sandwich.”

Yes, it does matter what you say and how you say it!
It is important how you treat others not just in actions, but in words.

Have a wonderful day caring for each other and ourselves.
Sincerely yours,
Rabbi Yehuda Blank