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Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126 rablenblank@gmail.com
==April 24, 2025, Nisan 25, 5785==
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We are at the threshold of a new horizon and what is that horizon? Whatever we want life to be like and what we want to pray for ourselves, our families, our friends, Klal Yisrael and the world at large is important. We should recognize that life is what we make of it and of course, what H wants our lives to be like. Is the lens we look at our world and the world around us rosy, clear or cloudy? Do we look at the glass being half full, half empty or appreciate however the glass is filled? I share these thoughts when hearing comments of how the Yom Tov of Pesach was from those who were tremendously grateful to H Yisbarach for having a wonderful Yom Tov to those who were disappointed at not having been able to accomplish everything they had hoped to do. I received a phone call from a person who relived what family life was like years ago preparing for Pesach and on Yom Tov. This person shared how wonderful it would be to have those “good times” back again even though this person admits that there is much to be thankful for in present “good times”. Life does go on. We all can remember the good times especially with our loved ones who are no longer on this world. It is so important to have a positive demeanor and to look at life with a rosy lens. Yes, we do get older and there are apt to be changes in life but we have to make the best of it and go with the flow. However, being empathetic and understanding the feelings when someone shares things with a rabbi, rebbetzin or chaplain is so important.
I know someone whose hearing is not the same as years before and was recommended to wear hearing aids. Should that person feel embarrassed or even sad having to wear those hearing aids or be thankful of having something to help enhance his quality of life. There are many reasons why a person’s body changes and it is not always due to being older. When someone mentions he had a hip replacement one conjures that this person is much older and would be surprised to learn it was for a younger person. It is not easy to accept changes in life or lifestyles but it is very helpful to have a happy disposition, a positive demeanor and a meaningful kesher with the Ribono shel Olam to be thankful for all that H does give to every person. Having emunah and betachon in H is so important. Reading all the mussar, chizuk and inspirational sefarim and articles will not help unless a person decides how he or she wishes to take those inspirations and utilize them for the best of his or her abilities. How much he or she wishes to internalize, enhance and improve one’s life and lifestyle is up to each and every person. Of course, each of us has to be empathetic with feelings, care, sincerity and understanding when someone wishes to unburden oneself and unload his or her difficulties or challenges in life. Challenges do not necessarily equate with having difficulties but rather a new or different way of dealing with new expectations or a specific concern or change in life. It is not uncommon for someone sharing his or her challenges or concerns to say “you just don’t understand what I am saying” or “You just don’t know what I am feeling.” Such responses are not unusual when a person does not feel he or she is being paid attention to or responding with empathy. Wearing eye glasses is such a common occurrence yet for a person having to wear them for the first time takes a lot of getting used to. Telling a person that so many people wear glasses, or it is not such a terrible thing and will adjust to a new way of life is not always helpful. Being empathetic means putting oneself in his or her shoes and feeling his embarrassment or self-image never felt beforehand. That person wants to look his or her best and might be concerned what others will think of him/her. He/she wants to be seen as youthful as beforehand and not as someome different or even ugly. The same with having to wear hearing aids which is no longer meant for the older population. Hearing loss affects men and women of all ages (children too). But there is something called vanity. Vanity can affect the way a person wants to see him or herself. Wearing hearing aids is learning a new, different and possibly uncomfortable way of life which one has to get use to. Vanity, how will it look on me? Will anyone notice it and what will anyone say? What will anyone think of me? Just give it some thought. What would you (anyone from my readership) say to give chizuk, inspiration and feel good about a person having to wear hearing aids that might be noticeable. What about a shidduch? What will the woman think of the man or what will the man think of the woman having to wear hearing aids? Will that “Shteir” a shidduch? It might if a person looks at that as a chasaron. With all due respect, a person seeking a shidduch should first and foremost be seeking a woman or man with exceptional midos. Everything else will fall into place. If someone is not interested in a shidduch because the woman or man is wearing a hearing aid, then that shidduch is not for him or her. PERIOD! The person wearing the hearing aid should not think any lower of him or herself. However, these are some of the challenging concerns a rabbi, rebbetzin or chaplain might come across with. One must really be empathetic and understanding what a person might be going through, what he or she is concerned about. It is important to know what is bothering a person, what is concerning a person. Not everything is a “kleinikeit” something simple. For a person dealing with something bothering him/her self, it is not a “kleinikeit” so simple. It can truly bother a person. Knowing how to listen, to be understanding and to know what and how to respond if necessary is very important. I would like to take this even further. There is one person who has been a tremendous inspiration to me and probably thousands of others and that person is Yossi Hecht. He is B H an amazing person. When Moshe Rabbeinu came down from Har Sinai he had to wear something on his face because his face radiated with such brightness. Yossi Hecht exhumes such tremendous brightness and brightens up everyone wherever he might be with his immense kindness, his goodness, his amazing abilities and a true eved of H. He is so full of energy making anyone and everyone in his presence or watching any of his videos or listening to his songs will feel good about themselves. He does not see himself as having a handicap but rather sees his wheelchair as a fantastic means of spreading H’s goodness all over. You really have to watch his video and how he practically dances with the wheelchair. He recently got married and B H continues to be an amazing inspiration to me and to others. Would that affect a shidduch for anyone wearing hearing aids? It shouldn’t! There are men and women with limited or no vision, loss of hearing and other physical challenges who are happily married. Not everyone is for everyone. There are short men marrying taller women and vs vs. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt’l’s Rebbetzin was much taller than the Rav. There is so much to look forward to. Even when the “chips might seem to be down”, there is always something and someway to make things work that is uplifting. What is important in any relationship is the desire to care for and about each other with a heart filled with kindness and sincerity.
May the days, weeks, months ahead be filled with tremendous goodness, kindness, gemilus chasadim and gentleness. May everyday be filled with much happiness and simchas. Let us encourage achdus and care for each other. Let us be considerate and always put the other person’s feelings first. Most important is to always be sincere. May we be zoche to have Shalom al Yisrael, Am Yisrael Chai and Chaveirim kol Yisrael. May our love of the Ribono shel Olam and our Torah continue to grow stronger every single day. May we be zoche to the Geula Sheleima Bekarov. Amein Selah.
Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda Blank