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Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126  rablenblank@gmail.com
<><> May 22, 2025, Iyar 24, 5785<><>
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PLEASE BE MISPALLEL FOR MY DEAR CHASHUVA MECHUTAN
REB NOSSON BAUMANN FOR A REFUAH SHELEIMA
NOSSON BEN RAITZ
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From” Psalms Tehillem 116

“Ahavti Ki Yishyma H Es Koli Tachanunai Ki Hita Azno Li Uvyami Ekra”
“I love Him for H hears my voice, my supplications. As He has inclined His ear to me, so in my days shall I call.” “Ma ashiv L H, kol  tagmulohi  alai”
“How can I repay H  for all the kindness He bestowed upon me ?” 

What do we think of each other? Is it possible to see good in another person when others may not? Is it possible for us to see each other as we are – ordinary Jews who are like one another? Having a positive outlook in life and a positive demeanor is important. It is truly wonderful to always be happy. You will read why it might happen to be so. However in the last of these stories you shall see why being always happy can be a challenge for many.       

From: Quote Of The Week 

“JewishVues.com April 30-May6, 2025. This article was taken with permission from the yeshiva.net. The author of the article is one of the most sought after speakers in the Jewish world today Rabbi YY Jacobson.” “SAD BUT POIGNANT: The Klausenberger Rebbe went through the camps, and he once told someone, “There’s one thing I miss about the Holocaust. When we went on the deathmarch, we were all clean shaven and our hair was shaven off too. We marched side by side, and no one knew if the person next to them was a chosid or a litvak, no one knew I was a Rebbe. We all just held our arms around each other and tried to keep warm, and tried to keep our fellow Jews warm. That’s what I miss from the Holocaust.”  In order to have achdus, we must look at each other as being part of one family, and each Jewish person as equal.

For chaplain, part of our credo when ministering to all men, women and children we care for all human beings for all are part of the human race.

Not only is it important not to be judgmental but to find goodness in another person. It is a wonderful attribute to be kind, caring and sincere but it is truly special to be a person finding goodness and not faults in others. Here is a story about a Rav who helped a woman find goodness in her husband which led him to become closer in his Yiddishkeit. Nothing happens overnight. It takes effort to want to find goodness and to give love and care with one’s heart. The gentle and sincere advice the Rebbe gave was truly wonderful. He didn’t jump to conclusions or what must be done without giving patient advice which eventually amazed the husband. What the Rov did was not only a marvelous way to bring the husband closer to Yiddishkeit but brought a husband and wife even closer together with respect for each other.

From: Food for Thought
“The Spark In The Becher”

By Rabbi Yitzchok Hisiger found in the YatedNe’eman May 16, 2025 Page 66
“The door to Rav Elazar Mordechai Kenig’s modest study creaked open with the weight of worry as a woman stepped in quietly. Her eyes bore the quiet determination of someone who had fought hard to return to Yiddishkeit, but today, they brimmed with tears. Rav Kenig, the revered rov of the Breslover kehillah in Tzefas, welcomed her with the same open-minded warmth he extended to all who sought his counsel.
She sat down across from him, her voice trembling as she began.
“Rebbe,” she said, “I don’t know what to do anymore. My husband and I started this journey together….at first, at least. But while I kept climbing closer to H, he slipped away. Now I keep Shabbos, I daven, I try my best, and he-he turns on the television right after Kiddush! I’m trying to raise our children in a Torah home. How can I do that when he’s pulling in the opposite direction?”
She paused, gathering courage for her final words.” I think I need to ask for a get. I can’t live like this. I can’t raise children like this.”
Rav Kenig leaned back slightly. Then suddenly, his face lit up.
“He makes Kiddush?” he repeated, as if she’d just told him that her husband had finished Shas.
“Yes,” she replied slowly.
The rov’s eyes twinkled. “Do you understand what that means? Every Friday night, a Jewish man lifts a becher of wine and proclaims the sanctity of Shabbos. That’s not small. That’s not nothing. That’s a revelation. In a world like this, a man who still lifts a cup and declares ‘Vayechulu’ is no simple man. He is a tzadik! You’re not married to someone who’s lost. You’re married to someone whose spark is still flickering. Do you know what a zechus that is ?”
His voice grew soft, almost a whisper, as if he were confiding a sacred secret. “Sometimes, you just need to look at the flame instead of the smoke.”
The woman walked out dazed. Rav Kenig had shown her a perspective she had never dared to see.
When she returned home, her husband met her at the door.
“So?” he asked hesitantly. “What did the rov say about us getting divorced?”
She looked at him, her voice barely above a murmur, but firm with something new. He said…that you’re a tzadik.”
The words hung in the air like an echo from another world.
The next Friday night, Kiddush took a little longer. There was something different in the way he held the cup. A stillness. A hesitation.
The following week, the television stayed silent.
And by the third Shabbos, he didn’t turn it on at all.
Weeks turned into months. The flicker of kedusha grew steadier, then stronger. Slowly, without pressure, without drashos, the man who had once distanced himself began to return, on his own terms, at his own pace.
Months later, the couple returned to Rav Kenig.
“Rebbe,” the husband said, “I don’t know what you told my wife, but …you saw something in me I didn’t even see in myself.”
Rav Kenig smiled. “I didn’t see anything that wasn’t already there. I just pointed to the light and reminded you that it was yours.In a world quick to condemn, Rav Kenig chose to believe.” ( A new book, Moments of Greatness, written by Rabbi Yitzchok Hisiger and published by Artscroll/Mesorah.

I have often written about being a happy person. Last week I shared how the Blank family with all of their challenges find room in their hearts to be thankful to H with much simchas hachaim. Anyone near them catches not a cold but a love for H with tremendous happiness. As part of the Shabbos bar mitzva schedule, the Friday night davening was held in their home providing an atmosphere of davening and singing so Moishe  their medically challenged son could enjoy the davening and be part of the bar mitzva. Mazel Tov to the other Zaidy and Bubby, Rabbi Yisrael and Rebbetzin Lifsha Kleinman. 

From: Living Emunah on Yomim Noraim
Always Happy

The following two stories are by Rabbi David Ashear from Living Emunah on Yomin Noraim by Artscoll, Mesorah Publications Ltd.  Always Happy Pages 247-249
In many of the stories we read about simchas hachaim that are jam packed with good endings. Unfortunately, there are often endings that are not happy. How can we see them in a different lens. We, the rabbis, the rebbetzins and the chaplains must be ready to engage those who we minister to with our hearts, our minds and to the best of our ability our wisdom with TLC.  We try our best to convey hope for there are all types of hope. 

“Always Happy”

“In addition to the special mitzvos that apply on Succos, we are also bound by the obligation of vesamachta bechagecha, rejoice on your festival (Devarim 16:14).
One aspect of this mitzva is recognizing and rejoicing over all the blessings H has granted us, contemplating the countless kindness we have received from Him, and realizing that He is constantly watching over us and protecting us. I once saw it written somewhere that if a person has reason to feel upset during the festival, but manages to overcome the challenge and remain happy, then, in reward, H will ensure that the problem is completely resolved. Indeed, the Torah commands us (Devarim 16:15): shivas yamim tachog laH Elokecha, seven days you shall celebrate to H, and then concludes, vehayiisa ach sameiach, you will be only happy. Rashi interprets this verse to mean that in reward for our rejoicing during the seven days of the festival, H will grant us a special blessing that we will always have a reason to be happy.
In truth, there is a mitzvah from the Torah to be happy throughout the year, in addition to the mitzvah to be especially joyous during the festival. The Torah commands (Devarim 28:9): vehalachta bidracha, and walk in (emulate) His ways, and the Rambam (Hilchos Dei’os 1:4) writes that one way this is accomplished is by being happy throughout one’s life (liyos sameiach kal yamav). The pasuk says (I Divrei HaYaMim 16:27): oz vechedva bimkomo, there is might and joy where H resides, so to speak. And thus we, as part of the command to emulate the Almighty, must endeavor to constantly maintain an emotional state of happiness. Thus, although there is a special mitzvah of joy during the festivals, the truth is that we can fulfill a Torah  command at every moment of our lives by feeling happy and content.
Feeling happy and expressing joy are the greatest ways of giving praise to H, as it shows that we are happy with what He has given us. The Vilna Gaon notes that if a person receives a gift, the first thing he does to express his appreciation is to accept it with joy and show how happy his friend has made him by giving the gift. Similarly, when we walk around in a state of happiness, with a sense of how much H has given us and how kind He is , we express our gratitude and appreciation for all He has done for us. There is a piyut that was sung by the Vilna Gaon that says that when a person has reason to complain but nevertheless feels joyous, H calls over the angels and exclaims, “Look at My beloved children, who forget their problems and involve themselves in serving Me with joy.
To accomplish this goal, however, we need to truly believe that H is always doing what is best for us.

(cont) With emunah we can all be happy all the time, and constantly fulfill this wonderful  mitzvah, as we know the renowned teaching of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov (Likutei Moharan Tinyana, maamar 24): mitzvos gedolah liyos besimcha tamid, It is a great mitzvah to be happy at all times.”

In the story of “A heroic Smile” Rabbi David Ashear shares with us the challenge of being happy and smiling during difficult times. H is our Holy Father who wants us to seek out His love and His compassion to help us during our difficult and trying times. Rabbi Ashear’s words are to be taken seriously because for many, being empathetic and understanding what another person is going through is so important.

(ibid) Pages 250 -252. “A Heroic Smile” The Vilna Gaon once said that the hardest mitzvah in the entire Torah to fulfill is being happy during the festival. The reason it’s so difficult is because it requires us to be in a constant state of joy for all seven days with no worry, no sadness, no aggravation. This is hard even for a person who is blessed with a family, with a house, with parnassah. But what about people who don’t have those same blessings? How can they be in a constant state of joy?
For some, the Yomim Tovim are the saddest part of the year. People who don’t have families, people who don’t have a place to be, listen as everyone else makes plans and feel left out. An older single woman said she wished she could just go to sleep before Yom Tov begins and wake up when it’s over. She dreads having to sit at the table with her married siblings and their children. She is always asked to help with this child or to babysit that one. Everyone assumes that since she doesn’t have her own family, she’s available to  be everyone else’s service. Well-meaning friends and relatives tell her.”
Don’t worry, this is going to be the last Yom Tov for you with out husband. By next year you’ll be married, b’ezras H.” She doesn’t want to hear it anymore. If only she could skip the whole thing.
There are baalei teshuvah whose families don’t observe the Yamim Tovim. They have nowhere to go; everyone else is busy with their own families. There are single mothers who try to fill the role of mother and father and give their children a real Yom Tov experience, but it’s never ideal. There are single guests at other people’s tables. “Festivals are supposed to be family time,” they say. “Why can’t we be with our families as well?”
Their pain is great. How could they possibly fulfill this mitzvah of being happy during the festival? It is an extremely difficult task, but if they could find it within themselves to try and accommodate it, they will receive unimaginable rewards. Chazal tell us (Avos D’Rabi Nosson 3:6) that doing a mitzvah with difficulty is worth a hundred times more than doing the same mitzvah without difficulty. If there is more than a slight degree of difficulty, then the mitzvah become a hundred times greater than before, an so on. And if it’s an extremely difficult mitzvah, its value could be thousands and thousands of times greater. We can’t fathom the reward even for an easy mitzvah, how much more so for something very difficult.
When a poor man brings a flour offering as a korban, the pasuk says (Vayikra 2:1): venefesh ki sakriv- he’s bringing his soul. Rashi explains that because it’s so hard for him to bring even that flour offering, H considers it as if he brought his own soul as a korban. If giving up his money to serve H is considered as if he gave his soul, what about if a person is able to sacrifice his emotions, to say, “H, You know how hard it is for me to go through another Yom like this, but I’m going to lift myself up, I’m going to do the best I can an serve You the way that You asked, with joy. I’ll sit at a table with strangers an forget about my problems and just focus on praising You.” Or, “I’ll sit at a table without a spouse, or without children, and I’ll overcome my sadness to do this mitzvah the best way.” That avodah would be unbelievable. And it’s not all or nothing; every little effort counts. For some, just getting to the meal and putting on a smile is already a heroic act.
May H give all of us the strength to rejoice on Succos (and all the time) and my we see the ultimate salvation of Mashiach Tzidkeinu. Amein.” 

It is important to have feelings for others. It is important to be empathetic and to give some thought of what others might be going through. We should choose the words that we share with others going through a difficult or lonely time. We all need each other. We cannot solve the world’s problems with a magic wand. We cannot fix everyones “tzoros” but we can give a listening ear when necessary and a kind word of encouragement when appropriate. What is extremely important is to be sincere in one’s interactions with another person. No one should feel they need to know it all. No one should feel they can fix it all. Often just being in the present with someone is all that is needed. When inviting someone for a Shabbos meal, make sure whoever is invited truly feels he /she is a guest being included in conversations not just sitting there to eat and drink but to feel that he/she is part of the family. Try not to invite someone the last minute and possibly give some type of why he/she wasn’t invited earlier as if the invitation was a second thought. Regarding comments to and about those who are still single no matter what age bracket should be sensitive with immense feelings and with compassion. The same with any scenario such as about having children and so on and so forth. Just be sincere, compassionate, caring and always think about when to have and how to have TLC for each other. It is always important to give it some thought of how anyone would like to be thought of, spoken to and cared for. For our readership who are rabbis, rebbetzins and chaplains, all of the above is part and parcel of their care they give often on a daily basis. Many of my readership are not rabbis, rebbetzins and chaplains. The chizuk and encouragements we can give to each other so that we can “be there” for those going through a difficult time is important. Hopefully it is possible to convey and bring even a little smile to someone’s face. With TLC we can bring some happiness to another person’s life. May H give us the wisdom we need to bring kindness and goodness to others and may we be zoche to receive H’s blessings for His ongoing love for us and our love for Him and to follow in His ways caring for others. 

Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda Blank