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Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126  rablenblank@gmail.com
<><>August 8, 2024, Av 4, 5784<><>
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Think positive, be positive, be uplifting.

It not only matters what you say but how you say it.

“A Gift-Wrapped Word”

The Three Weeks – a prelude to the Yomin Noraim.

Our sadness should be with true feelings.

“From Morning to Joy.”

“The Hidden Treasure.”

One must feel for others and know what they might be going through.

“You Have to Experience It”

All roads lead to Kiddush H.

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During the Three Weeks we lessen or refrain from activities that are more in line to gashmius especially during the “Nine Days” since we are aveilim for the Beis Hamikdash.  However, we also tend to become more spiritual and reflect on our relationship with the Ribono shel Olam. For many, it is difficult to relate and comprehend what it must have been like living during the Churban Beis Hamikdash. Most of all, what were the causes of the first and the second Churban Beis Hamikdash and how can we influence Klal Yisrael to change certain negative behaviors. How can we invigorate and inspire Klal Yisrael to enhance our lives to bring achdus and the spirit of chaveirim kol Yisrael and Shalom al Yisrael. From the onset of the month of Elul and the days leading up to the Yomin Noraim we instinctively realize we are getting closer to the Yom Hadin. Our Torah learning becomes more intense, our observance of mitzvos becomes more meaningful and our relationship with the Ribono shel Olam becomes even closer. But what also what should change, is our behavior and our relationship with others. It is important to understand the essence and the sadness of what caused the Churban and how we can rectify what led up to those truly sad days. I have chosen several interesting stories I hope will add to the meaning of Kiddush H. Everything takes effort. Nothing comes easy. Wanting Shalom Bayis takes a desire to help bring simchas hachaim into a relationship. With the encouragement and help from our rabbonim, rebbetzins and chaplains everything is possible. To those who have difficulties with Shalom Bayis, dealing with children, or relationships , give it some thought and just imagine what it must be for those who are “chalashing” for a relationship, a marriage, children, or wanting to have meaningful friendships.  With kind words, goodness, a sincere heart, empathy, a smile, a listening ear, we can bring joy into this world of ours and help find the hidden treasures that can bring us happiness. Speaking kindly brings about positive impressions of how friendly we are. It is not just what we say but how we say it.    

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“A Gift Wrapped Word”
From:
Positive Word Power
Building a better world with the words you speak.

Published by Mesorah Publications Ltd in conjunction with The Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation. Pages 12-13. “Imagine taking a vow to never speak a negative word about another person again. You might find yourself frightened to open your mouth. You might feel repressed, unable to let your thoughts and feelings flow. But if that were your reaction, it would be because you were focusing all your attention on half of the picture. You would be seeing each word as a potential trap that could ensnare you in sin and punishment but failing to see each word as a potential gold mine of blessing.”

Once a person moves past the human tendency to vent frustrations through negative speech, the focus shifts to the other half of the picture: lashon tov, positive speech. This is where speech fulfills its potential to make a person the parent, sibling, friend, teacher, son or daughter he or she is meant to be. The positive word is so powerful, the Zohar teaches that one may not bypass the opportunity to speak it. Noticing something positive about someone, thinking it, but not saying it, is wrong. Speech is not a loose cannon we have to rein in before it hurts someone; it is a precision tool for growth. Even one word can have an immense positive impact, as the story below illustrates. 

Rosa was from Guatemala. For four years, she had worked in the Nussbaum’s home keeping it tidy and operating smoothly. She was honest, pleasant and reliable, and the Nussbaum family appreciated her tremendously. In fact, shortly after she had started working for him, Mr. Nussbaum had thought that he would learn a few words of Spanish so he could communicate with more than gestures. However, the years went by and all he had learned to say was muchas gracias, senor.” 

One fact Rosa had managed to communicate was that she had not seen her daughter since she had left Guatemala 10 years ago, when the girl was 14. One day, Rosa arrived at the Nussbaum house with an ecstatic smile on her face. Her daughter had arrived in the U.S. with her husband. The yearned for reunion had occurred, and this mother’s heart was bursting with joy. Mr. Nussbaum wanted her to know that they shared in her joy, and so, he finally set about learning a word in Spanish: “feliz” meaning happy. The next day, when Rosa arrived, Mr Nussbaum proudly expressed his feelings in Spanish. “feliz,” he told her. “We are “feliz.”

Rosa’s eyes lit up. She recognized the effort to reach out to her and express a heartfelt sentiment. It was as if the single word had been carefully wrapped, adorned with a bow and placed in her hands.

This is the power of lashon tov. Each positive word can be given as a gift, carefully chosen, wrapped with love and handed to the recipient to savor. It has the power to lift a heart, put a light in the eyes and make the world suddenly appear to be a kinder, more welcoming place.”

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“You Have to Experience It”
From:
Words of Wisdom- Words of Wit

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By Shmuel Himelstein. Published by Mesorah Publications, Ltd in conjunction with Achiasaf Publications.  Pages 90-91 “R” Elye Chaim of Lodz was always involved in in raising money for the needy and for worthy causes. In order to do so, he would visit various wealthy individuals.

Once, the winter was a particularly severe one and as a result, the price of firewood shot up. R” Elye Chaim began to make the rounds of the rich, to have them donate money for firewood for the poor.

His first stop was Kalman Poznanski, the richest man in the city. When R’ Elye Chaim came to the door, Poznanski’s servant ran to tell his master that the rabbi had arrived. Poznanski immediately came to the door, still dressed in his shirtsleeves. He greeted the rabbi and invited him in, but R’ Elye Chaim remained standing at the door and began to discuss all types of topics of concern to the city. Poznanski was too respectful to say anything and stood listening, but he began to feel the full force of the  cold. R’ Elye Chaim, for his part, discussed one topic after another, speaking at leisure like a man sitting on a couch in someone’s living room. Finally the cold was too much for Poznanski, and he said, “Rebbe, would you mind stepping inside.? I’m freezing.”

“Now,” said R’ Elye Chaim without moving an inch, “I will tell you why I came. This is a very bitter winter. Prices of firewood have risen drastically, and the poor are all freezing. I came to ask you to contribute money toward firewood for the poor.”

Poznanski unhesitatingly gave him a large donation for firewood.

At that point, R’ Elye Chaim entered the house and both sat down in the living room.

“Excuse me, Rebbe,” Poznanski finally blurted out “but why did you stand at the door so long without entering the house? It doesn’t seem proper for a rabbi to stand on the doorstep.

“My reason for doing so was simple,” said R’ Elye Chaim. “There is a folk proverb that ‘ a person who is full cannot fathom the suffering of one who is hungry.’ I came to let you know of the suffering of the poor who have no wood with which to warm their homes. Had we been sitting in your beautiful warm living room, could I have depicted to you even a thousandth part of what the poor are suffering? When we stood at the front door for a while, you felt the cold in your bones; you were able to appreciate, somewhat, what it is like in the homes of the poor, and you contributed handsomely.” 

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“Our Mourning Turned Into Joy”
From:
“The Maggid of Dubno and His Parables”
“HaKol Kol Yaakov”

By Benno Heineman: Feldheim Publishing Comp. Pages 14-16. “Every year, for a period of three weeks beginning with the 17th day of Tammuz and ending with the 9th of Av, the Jewish people goes into deep mourning for the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. We had two Temples; the first one was destroyed by Nebuchadnezzar, the King of Babylonia, the second was razed by Titus and his Roman legions. Now we have no place that can be called the Sanctuary of G on earth. But our prophets have given us G’s promise that, in due time, we shall have a third Temple, which will remain for all eternity, and those who mourned the most bitterly for Israel’s  lost glory will have their grief turned into great rejoicing.

The Prophe Isaiah said:

“Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad with her, all of you who love her; rejoice with her with great rejoicing, all of you who mourn for her.” (Isaiah 66:10).

In other words, those who genuinely keep the “three weeks” of mourning for our Temple of Jerusalem, will be privileged in due time to rejoice in the rebuilding of our Holy City and the Sanctuary therein. But why say “rejoice with great rejoicing”?

The Maggid of Dubno gave his answer in the form of a Moshol: A man embarked on a long journey which was to take him to distant lands across the sea. After he had been gone for some time, reports reached his home town that his ship had met with an accident and that he had been drowned. His wife and children were prostrate with grief. His friends, too were deeply shocked, and even those who barely knew him were momentarily stunned. As time went on, however, the memory of the man they had esteemed so highly grew dimmer in their hearts. But through the months passed, his immediate family never ceased to mourn for him.

Then, one day, the door of the man’s house opened. Behold, there stood the man who they had thought was dead, very much alive! The good news quickly spread through the town, and soon the house was crowded with  friends who came to express their joy at his safe return. Those who had known him but slightly were pleased for him and his family. But his intimates, who had felt genuine sorrow when he had been presumed dead, were more than merely pleased; they were overjoyed that their friend was still among the living. And his family, of course, were beside themselves with happiness. Those who had mourned the most for the lost traveler were the happiest now that he had returned.

The same applies to our own mourning for the Temple and for Jerusalem, and to the happiness that will be ours when, in due time, both the City and the Sanctuary will rise again. Jeremiah said, “And I will turn their mourning into joy and I will comfort them and make them rejoice from their sorrow.” (Jerimiah 31: 12). In other words: The exuberance of their rejoicing will be in direct proportion to the tears they shed when there was no reason to mourn. All of Israel will rejoice when the Temple will rise again in Jerusalem, but the degree to which they will rejoice will depend upon the extent to which they wept before. And those of us who truly mourned for Jerusalem will then indeed “rejoice with great rejoicing” at its rebuilding.”

Much the same idea is expressed in the Shir Ha-Maaloth which we sing on Sabbaths and holidays. Hazori  bedima berimah yiktzoru “Those who sow in tears will accordingly reap with  joy.” (Psalms 126:5) The more genuine and heart-rending our tears for the lost Temple , the greater will be our joy and exultation at its restoration.

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“The Hidden Treasure”
From:
The Maggid of Dubno and His Parables
Hakol Kol Yaakov

By Benno Heineman: Feldheim Publishing Corp: Pages 158-159. “Asked the Mggid of Dubno: Why should man constantly seek to grasp the Infinite in wisdom and in the fear of heaven, when it is obvious that he will never attain it? Why, then should this divine aspiration be so rooted withing his heart that he will never entirely give it up?

And the Maggid, as he did so often, answered his own question with a wonderful Moshol, as follows:

A wealthy man, afraid that he might be   robbed of his possessions in the turmoil of war, hid everything in  various secret places throughout his house.

Unfortunately, he died quite suddenly and his son did not know where he could find his inheritance. As he sat gloomily in his room, counting his own last few silver pieces, one of the coins dropped from his do little money, he desperately searched for the coin high and low. Finally, at his wits end, he tore out the floor boards and – lo and behold ! beneath the planks he discovered a chest full of ducats which he had never expected to find. Naturally this full happy discovery impelled him to go on searching. He never found his own piece of silver that he had lost, but wherever he looked, he came upon new treasures of golden coins.

True, his silver coin was lost forever, but can we say that his efforts to find it therefore were nothing?  No, indeed, for it was during this search that he discovered other unexpected wealth and treasure.

The same is true also of our own striving after the infinite. We may not find the thing we have set out to seek, but on the way we may well come upon magnificent treasures of mind and spirit which, had we sat idle, we would never have discovered.” 

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We truly need each other. We are living in precarious times. We need to care for each other. We truly need to feel for each other and seek opportunities of doing gemilus chasadim. We should refuse to listen to  speak or listen to loshon harah no matter how juicy it may be. We are not always capable or have the ability of doing everything but we can try. If we are unable to help someone, we should try to recommend someone who might be able to help. If you know of someone who is interested in a shidduch, try to help. Perhaps someone is seeking financial advice or medical advice. But like anything else, if you are not able to be of assistance, you can at least be mispallel for that person. I share the above with many of my readership who are not rabbonim, rebbetzins or chaplains. Of course, our rabbis, rebbetzins and chaplains are also mispallel to be able to share and give appropriate advice, be a listening board for those who need a sincere listening ear. It is not unusual to receive phone calls seeking brachos. A kind word of reassurance, an uplifting word of encouragement, can make even the darkest of hour a little brighter. I remember Rav Dovid Feinstein zt”l and the countless of hours he would give to many who sought his advice and reassurances as well as the encouragements he would give with a full heart. Many would leave his presence with a big smile that Rav Dovid made his or her day a lot brighter.  Rav Dovid not only would show his concern but would find the resources that would be helpful. Quite often Rav Dovid would pick up the phone in his office in the presence of the person to solve the problem. I know of a very caring rebbetzin who would spend hours helping young women with kallah issues, shidduchim concerns and lots of other types of advice. She is an amazing baalas chesed with her encouragement and successful mediation even late in the evenings. When you think of Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l one might think he would be too busy to accept phone calls or people who would come to the yeshiva for personal advice. But on the contrary, the Rosh Yeshiva would speak to individuals with patience and caring.

During these days leading up to Tisha B Av let us increase our love for Klal Yisrael. 

Having a positive outlook can make the difference in one’s quality of life. 

Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda Blank