****** NATIONAL POLICE WEEK ******
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126 rablenblank@gmail.com
= = May 16, 2024, Iyar 8, 5784 ==
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Jealousy, Being Envious, Loshon Harah, Sinas Chinan, Rechilus
Not having a grudge especially towards a loved one.
Veahavta Lereieacha Kamocha
Mi Keamcha Yisrael
The lady in Israel who made an unexpected sale because of her kindness.
=========================================================
It is not easy staying away from machlokes. It should be easy to say to a spouse, you are right. It is not giving in; it is loving each other with one’s heart because you care about each other. The same with friends and with anyone else. Not bearing a grudge is not easy. But why think in the negative. If following what is right al pi halacha, the importance of menchlichkeit should be part of a person’s persona. Ok, sometimes one has to give oneself a pinch to remind him or her of the right way to behave. But again, if someone cares for another person, the desire will be to do everything and anything that is helpful and meaningful for that person. It is important to go that extra mile to be nice and friendly and most of all to be mevater when needed. What about being mekadeish H? That too should not take effort but should be part and parcel of one’s lifestyle. A person must want to seek opportunities. What does it take to be a friendly person or to be friendly and nice to others ?
What about not being envious or jealous. Speaking loshon harah can lead to sinas chinan and rechilus. All too often there are people who are jealous and envious of others, including a best friend who has a better job, for a nicer home. It could be someone who is envious about another person who received an award or whose picture is in the newspaper. On the contrary, we all should be proud of another person’s gains in life, achievements and happiness. Behaving that way will only bring true happiness in one’s own life.
From Kol Dodi on the Torah by Rabbi David Feinstein, Artscroll Series, Mesorah Publications Ltd. Parshas Kedoshim, Page 189. “Do not take revenge and do not bear a grudge against the members of your people; you shall love your fellow as yourself- I am H (19:18)” The Torah includes these three commandments, which are fundamental to the Torah’s approach to human relations, in the same verse in order to make us realize how the first two depend on the third. Lo sikom, Do not take revenge, forbids retaliating in any manner against someone who has displeased you. It includes not only attempting to do him harm, but even refusing to do him a favor that you would normally have done. For example, refusing to lend someone a tool because he once refused to make you a similar loan. Velo Sitor, and do not bear a grudge, applies even when no retaliating action is taken. For example, one may not say,” I will lend you the tool you need, even though you refused me when I asked for yours.”
If you do not love your fellow, then everything he does to you will make you feel that he has taken advantage of you and will cause you to bear grudges and take revenge.
However, if you love someone, as the Torah requires you to love every Jew, then you will not feel that he has taken advantage of you, but you will understand that he had a good reason for refusing your request. This is analogous to a loved one who is , Heaven Forbid, seriously ill, and his family takes care of his needs day and night without feeling burdened. On the contrary, they want only for the person to stay with them forever, in spite of the hardships his care imposes on them.”
From Shabbos with Rav Pam by Rabbi Sholom Smith, Artscroll Series; Mesorah Publications Ltd. Parshas Kedoshim Pages 163, 164 and 168. “Judge Your Fellow Favorably! With righteousness shall you judge your fellow (19:15).” “Although Parshas Kedoshim contains only 64 pesukim, it had 51 mitzvos. Rashi (19:2) says this portion of the Torah was said at a gathering of the entire assembly of Klal Yisrael because the majority of the essentials of Torah depend on it. One of these monumental concepts is, as noted above, to judge a fellow Jew with righteousness. The Gemrara (Shavuous 30a) cites two meanings to these words. The first is addressed to judges: they must dispense justice fairly, not favoring one litigant over the other. This includes not allowing one party to sit while the other stands, or permitting one to present his case at length while the other is told to keep his remarks short.
The second meaning of the words, with righteousness shall you judge your fellow, applies to every Jew. It is the source of the obligation of hevei dan es chaveircha lechaf zechus, to judge your fellow favorably ( see Pirkei Avos 1:6 ), by giving him the benefit of the doubt. According to the Rambam ( Sefer HaMitzvos 177 , the Sefer HaChinuch ( 235 ), and Rabbeinu Yonah ( Shaarei Teshuvah 3:218 ), this is an obligation required by the Torah.
Betzedek tishpot amisecha is the cornerstone of all good midos and the key to good relations with one’s spouse, children, family members, friends and neighbors, business associates, and everyone with whom one comes into contact. It may seem difficult to always judge others favorably, but by contemplating the inherent greatness and kedusha in a Jewish soul, the task would be much easier.”
From The Teachings Of Our Sages, JEP Jewish Education Programs by Rabbi Mordechai Katz, Feldheim Publishers Ltd, Parshas Kedoahim, Page 116 “Loving Your Neighbor” “V’ojavtoh L’reiachoh Komocho” (Vayikra 19:18), says the Torah. “And you shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ A very nobel idea, Certainly, one who loves his neighbor as he does himself will definitely treat others with great respect.
But is this practical advice? Can it, in fact, be carried out? Or is it just too much to expect for one to show others the same concern he lavishes on himself? Can one really be so selfless?
Obviously, reaching this high level is difficult. It can be done through, even if a slow, step-by-step approach might sometimes be necessary. Thus, when a gentile asked Hillel to explain to him the whole of the Torah while he was standing on one foot. Hillel replied, “Do not do anything to others that you would not like them to do to you” (Shabbos 31 a) . Note the different approach here. Hillel was cognizant of the fact that loving others unreservedly is difficult. Therefore, he suggested that men avoid detrimental acts against other. They must refrain from acts of revenge, from verbal attacks and from harboring baseless hatred. From the avoidance of negative acts, which is mostly a matter of self-control, one can achieve positive acts of love. Perhaps the following is an indication of how supreme the love of one’s fellow man can become.
Moshe and Meir had long been the best of friends. But man can often find no better way of settling their differences that through war, and Moshe and Meir one day found themselves living in two opposing warring towns.
Moshe was captured by the enemy and was condemned to death by the king. Before the execution could be carried out, Moshe asked for and received permission to speak to the king. “I realize that, according to the rules of war, I deserve to be killed. Yet, if you will kill me now, my children will be left in poverty forever. Please, let me return to my home, collect all the debts due me. Arrange for my family’s security, and I promise you I will return it to you by the end of next month.
“Do you think I am a fool?” said the king. “If I set you free now, how do I know you will actually return?”
Moshe thought for a moment, and then answered, “I have a friend in this town named Meir, and I think he will be willing to take my place here until I return.”
Meir was contacted and agreed not only to take Moshe’s place in prison, but to also receive the sentence of execution if Moshe did not return. The month passed, but Moshe failed to appear. The king merely shrugged and ordered the Meir to be ready for beheading. The hour for the execution drew nearer, but still no Moshe. The executioner raised his knife, Meir cringed… and then, at the very last moment, in rushed Moshe. He pushed Meir out of the way and indicated to the executioner to chop his own head off instead, But Meir was having none of this, he would rather lose his own life than to see his friend die. Soon the two were struggling for the right to die for the other, and neither would relent.
The king watched this with amazement. Finally, he spoke. “I have never seen two men more willing to save each other. Certainly, there have never been two men more deserving of life. Free them both!
Not everyone is willing to die for his fellow man’s sake. Yet, Jews especially, must realize that their neighbors are their allies in life. Anti-Semitism will set gentile against Jew, and Jews will survive only if they recall that “Kol Yisroel Aveirim Zeh LoZeh”— All Jews are Responsible to Each Other ( Sanhedrin 27b; Vayikra 26:37, Rashi ). It is this sixth sense of love and unity that must exist if peace, harmony, and progress are to emerge triumphant.”
From The Stone Edition Artscroll Chumah, Mesorah Publications Ltd: Parshas Kedoshim. “Veahavta Lereiecha Kamocha, You shall love your fellow as yourself. R’ Akiva said that this is the fundamental rule of the Torah (Rashi; Sifra ) Hillel paraphrased the commandment, saying, “What is hateful to you, do not do to others” (Shabbos 31a). The Sages based a variety of rules on this verse, illustrating the sort of sensitivity that is demanded of all Jews.
How to love another. HaKesave V”HaKabbalah offers a list of realistic examples of how one can fulfill this commandment in ways that are possible: a) Your affection for others should be real, not feigned. b) Always treat others with respect. C) Always seek the best for them. d) Join in their pain. e) Greet them with friendliness. f) Give them the benefit of the doubt. g) Assist them physically, even in matters that are not very difficult. h) Be ready to assist with small or moderate loans and gifts. i) Do not consider yourself better than them.
With the exception of letter h, they are all wonderful attributes of chaplaincy. Though chaplains do give different types of gifts, I often found appropriate gifts that were very much appreciated. I often gave my hospice patients a challah. For many the challah would bring back wonderful childhood memories and would be an excellent opener for discussions. It often helped reconnect them to their Jewish faith in meaningful ways.
The following is a wonderful example of Mi Keamcha Yisrael. This story took place in Yerushalayim. An American Rebbetzin was passing a small shoe store and liked a pair of shoes situated in the front of the store. She then realized that it was the day after Pesach and that she hadn’t taken her credit cards or money out of the pocketbook that she used for Chol Hamoed . She told the saleslady that she would come back tomorrow to try on the shoes since she had no money on her. The saleslady was very gracious and said, “I will give you money, maybe you would like to buy a drink.” The Rebbetzin declined. What a wonderful and sincere act of chesed from the saleslady and a beautiful example of Mi Keamcha Yisrael – caring for another Jew. The Rebbetzin came back the next day to purchase the pair of shoes because of the chesed of this saleslady. This too was an act of kindness by the Rebbetzin.
It truly is important to care about each other and for our fellow Jews, but it is also important to make a Kiddush H whenever and however we are able to do so. No matter what many throughout the world feel about Klal Yisrael, we always must do what is right. We must always be kind, caring and erlich- honest and sincere. It should be easy to say to a spouse that you are right. It is not giving in; it is loving each other with one’s heart because you care about each other. The same with friends and others. Not bearing a grudge is not easy. But why think in the negative. If following what is right al pi halacha, the importance of menchlichkeit should be part of a person’s persona.
Let us be mispallel to be zoche, to refuos, shidduchim, parnasah, shalom bayis, simchas, maysim tovim, good health and much happiness in our lives and the lives of Klal Yisrael. Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda Blank.
***************************************************
AS A FORMER UNIFORMED POLICE DEPARTMENT CHAPLAIN
AND A FRATERNAL ORDER OF POLICE FOP CHAPLAIN
I WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE NATIONAL POLICE WEEK
HONORING ALL LAW ENFORCEMENT THROUGHOUT THE USA
AND
TO REMENBER ALL WHO MADE THE SUPREME SACRIFICE WHO
WERE KILLED IN THE LINE OF DUTY.
RESPECFULLY
RABBI L. BLANK
You must be logged in to post a comment.