Rabbi Yehuda (Leonard) Blank MS, BCC
Director of Programming, Chaplaincy Commission and External Affairs
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
Thursday June 9th ,2022, Sivan 10, 5782
Betachen, Betach, Trust We do not live in a vacuum; we remind ourselves for the trust we have in Him.
A Handbook of Jewish thought by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan. Vol 2 Moznaim Publishing Corporation (Page 9) 1:31 “Faith and trust in G are partners, since one who believes in an omniscient, omnipotent, and benevolent G must also believe that He will provide for His faithful. Therefore, one should trust in G and not overly concerned about the future. It is thus written, “Commit your way to G. Trust in Him and He will do [for you]” (Psalms 37:5), and “Blessed is the man who trusts in G; G will be his trust” (Jeremiah 17:7).”
(ibid) Page 225 15:59” Even if one has lived a complete ungodly life, he should not give up hope and feel that it is impossible to change his was of life. Our Sages teaches us that, all beginnings are difficult.” G thus gives a person every opportunity, and once he makes the initial effort to repent, he is given divine help. G told His prophet, “Return to Me. and I will return to you” (Malachi 3:7). Our sages teach us that G says, “Open for Me as the eye of a needle, and I will open wide for you the gates of heaven.”
(ibid) Page302 19:38” One should have trust in G, and know that just as He gives life, so will He give sustenance. Nevertheless, one must also do one’s share in planning for the future, in order not to be in the category of “Your life will hang in suspense” (Deuteronomy 28:66). One who had complete trust in G is assured that he will be successful in all his endeavors.”
“Yisrael betach ba H- O Israel, trust in H; their help and their shield is He!” From Hallel: Artscroll Siddur Mesorah Publications Ltd.
Mesillas Yesharim 8
“One should look into all of the good things that the Holy One Blessed be He, does with a man at all periods and times, and into the great wonders that He does with him from the time of his birth until his last day. The more one looks into and considers these things, the more will he recognize his great debt to H, who bestows good, (and this will surely bring him to love of H)” (For men and women).
Tehillim 73:28 “But as for me, nearness to G is my good; I have placed in the Lrd H my trust, to recount all of Your works.”
Tehillim 116:12 How can I repay H for all the kindness He has bestowed on me?
A famous saying “H helps those who help themselves.”
We know the importance of having emunah, faith in G, and hope, but genuinely believing and having trust in all that He does for us, now and in the future is vital. Whether it be for a shidduch, a job/position, health-related matters, etc, trusting in H is not just a feeling, but really believing in one’s heart the essence of Gam Zu Latova, or whatever He decides for me is always in my best interest. We do not have Ruach Hakodesh. Let’s say for instance a shidduch was arranged and either the man or woman lives in a different city or state. The shidduch takes place, time, expenses for travel and other ancillary items are involved. For whatever reason, the decision after a number of dates not to continue. What should the person who did the traveling, and other expenses attitude should be? It should be with sincere appreciation to H for the opportunity of meeting a VIP, for that other person is a VIP, but most of all to the Ribono shel Olam for making it possible. Why then did the shidduch not pursue any further? There could be numerous reasons, but H knows why He did what He did or what His plans are. Having emunah, and having faith goes along with trusting in H. We must do our hishtadlis and H will do the rest, but we have to not just believe that we must in our hearts know that is true. It is without a doubt extremely important to be sincere how each person on those dates be erlich, caring, with a heart of gold. Whether or not the shidduch will continue. For the man – be a true gentleman with respect and with good midos.
We owe much to H. How could we repay Him all that He has done for us? By doing all the things we know in our hearts we should be doing. He loves us, and we should reciprocate with our heartfelt love for Him. Rabbis, rebbetzins, chaplains know conveying all the above is not a simple task, especially for those with low self-esteem, low self-confidence, those who might be going through a challenging and possible difficult time in life for whatever reason it may be. For such a person, telling him/her you must have trust in H you must have faith “just won’t cut it. Helping a person needs patience, finesse, understanding, with a heart filled with kindness and compassion. Trust can be built, but it might take time. Instilling hope and sharing faith might come easier than the trust a person should have. Of course, to have any success the rabbi, rebbetzin and chaplain must him or herself have the necessary trust in H. Rabbis, rebbetzins and chaplains need to know the right things to say, how to say them and in general the most appropriate approach to take. Those who have had training and are educated in pastoral care for instance will know the appropriate approach to take but not as a guidance or mental health counselor. Chizuk is always meaningful, but with the right tone and direction. I am not a shidduch specialist, but unfortunately, there are shidduchim that are not successful because of well-meaning advice, but the wrong advice was given. So, you may ask, if one has trust in H, and a heart of gold, shouldn’t having that faith, hope and betachim/trust whatever advice is given will be for the best and whatever happens is Gam Zu Latova? If that be the case, then there would never be the need for guidance from a professional in the field of expertise dealing with a specific issue or concerns.
Amongst a number of weddings invitations, I received was one from an incredibly special wonderful couple. Several of my articles some time ago, I wrote with their permission about a couple, both receiving treatments for their cancer diagnosis. Their prognosis, love each other, care for each other, share simchas hachaim together, help each other for 120 years. I have been in touch with the chasan, who shared with me many of the preparations they are doing for their forthcoming wedding- just like a younger couple. But who says marriage is just for younger couples? There was a beautiful article in the Ami Living magazine October 27, Cheshvan 5782 Issue 540 title “One’s a Nonagenarian the Other’s an Octogenarian Mazel Tov! They Just Got Engaged. Stuart and Marlene Share Their Story. By Yitta Halberstam Mandelbaum about a couple in the eighties and nineties who found something very special in each other with much care they wanted to get married (once again). If any of my readers have a good feeling and with the right approach, maybe you too might know of a shidduch for a widow, widower, divorcee, older single or of any age. BUT the right approach is extremely important. If you are not sure what to say, what to ask, then speak to someone who could offer the best advice. It is important to be sensitive and cautious if there is a possibility someone might have very personal reasons of not being interested in marriage. Be gentle with an understanding. Having a positive attitude is an important attribute. Caring for others, for each other and yes for oneself is important. Making a Kiddush H, having a leiv tov is very special. Look at all the shalom Aharon Hakohen made and did. Most of all, our love for H should always be strong.
From The Gentle Weapon Prayers for Everyday and Not-so-Everyday Moments Timeless Wisdom from the Teachings of the Hasidic Master Rebbe Nachman of Breslov “IN PRAISE” “Dear G of compassion, Your mercies are with me always-every moment of my life, with each breath I take. Only You can love me so completely, so unconditionally, so profoundly. If people care for me, it is only because You care for me. If any of my words find their way into the hearts of others, it is nothing more than a reflection of Your all-encompassing presence in my life.” Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda Blank