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Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126 rablenblank@gmail.com
***July 9, 2026, 24 Tammuz, 5786***
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I’m not in control.
During these “Three Weeks”, I was reminded of a specific gentleman who was going through a difficult time in his life and shared that his personal grief was compounded during this time of Jewish mourning. He mentioned he was unable to get his life in shape due to his own failures in life which brought him to tears especially during the “Nine Days”. He lost money in certain investments he had made and he was single and wanted so much to be married to share his life with a loved one. He was afraid of losing his masculinity. He was fearful of dying without having had any success in his life, never enjoying a loving companionship, not having a steady income, often just feeling like a failure without anyone to share his personal feelings with the exception of myself. Samuel (not his real name) gave permission to the mental health professional he was seeing to discuss his case with me.
Samuel also made the attempt to seek out shadchanim, matchmakers for a date that might lead to a companionship. He did attend synagogue services and also a periodic Torah class. However, Samuel gave up on reading anything or listening to anyone giving a class on uplifting spirituality dealing with faith and trust in H. He was grateful to have mental health specialists who together with medicine and talk therapy have kept him going. He never spoke of any suicidal thoughts, nor did his therapist mention to me he did. His therapist advised me to always listen carefully to Samuel and what to do should he mention anything about suicidal ideologies. It also appeared that Samuel was having issues with forgetfulness and this only added his own fears about living a normal life.
Samuel shared these thoughts with me: “I am a frum, Orthodox Jewish man who is having difficulty with emunah and bitachon in H. Rabbi how can you help me to be more accepting of H and my relationship with Him. You have always been comforting, giving me encouragement and when possible, try to be understanding of what I have been going through. I would truly say you have been empathetic about my various situations and many disappointments. I always have known you as a kind rabbi and a chaplain who has given me many of your hours just listening to me. You also offered me your saintly advice about the right path to take in life, when requested, without being judgmental or trying to help put my life together. I am aware of my psychiatric and emotional disorders, mixed in with my medical and financial problems which are causing havoc in my life. Rabbi, I am a mess and feel out of control. Having emunah and bitachon in H just doesn’t help me. Of course I love H. We all do, don’t we?” Good question, don’t we all love H, don’t we?
In addition, Samuel’s forgetfulness has prevented him from remembering many accomplishments that he had made even in recent times. One of my favorite two sayings have been, “be thankful of any accomplishments that have been made and be thankful of what you can do, not what you have not been able to do. In the case with Samuel, the challenges were insurmountable.
Rabbis, Chaplains and also Rebbetzins come across men, women, adolescents and yes, children of diverse ages with multiple challenges, various diagnosis, and the need for TLC.
We are not alone with the work we do. B H there is no lack of professional and rabbinic guidance. We all know our abilities and our limitations of appropriate guidance and care we can give to those we support. We are mispallel to H with emunah and bitachon to be able to have the appropriate resources, the patience, the sincere willingness and the abilities of giving the suitable care. We are also mispallel to be able to imbue that love, faith and trust in those who we minister to. We seek to inspire and encourage each person to acknowledge their good qualities and accomplishments whether small or big. One of my goals with Samuel was helping him to remember his accomplishments that he was truly proud of that brought him some menuchas hachaim and even put a smile on his face. This opened up an opportunity of bringing love of H to him. I mentioned to Samuel that with all the difficulties, helplessness or darkness, there are still opportunities for him to find some light and goodness in his life.
I shared with Samuel the importance of not giving up hope. We have prayed for generations for the coming of Moshiach. Of course, we are saddened each year when he has not arrived. The Three Weeks including the Nine Days are days of remembering our Holy Temples but we don’t give up hope that he will still come B E H.
I always gave him my brachos which Samuel appreciated.
The following are prayers from The Gentle Weapon. Prayers for Everyday and Not – So – Everyday Moments. Timeless Wisdom from the Teachings of the Hasidic Master,
Rebbe Nachman of Breslov
“Sorting Through Confusion”
“G of truth
help me sort through
the dizzying confusion
of my life.
My mind swirls with
all that I’ve seen,
all that I’ve read,
all that’s happened to me.
Teach me to focus,
to prioritize,
to see with clarity,
so that I can move on
with my life.”
“True To Self”
My G,
teach me to be true
to myself.
Never let me be swayed
by approval
of the disapproval
of others.
Help me learn to depend
on no one but You,
and to look nowhere
but within
to come to know
my true self –
that person I really am.”
Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda (Leonard) Blank