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Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126  rablenblank@gmail.com,
March 19, 2026, Rosh Chodesh Nissan, 5786
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A true story of how advice was beneficial for a hospice patient that made
his and his wife’s  Passover truly special weeks before his demise.

HOPE

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One of my MJHS patients was an Orthodox Jewish elderly man of German Jewish descent who lived with his very devoted and loving wife. His wife requested that I visit him and continue to bring my kind and gentle wisdom, sweet humor and a caring heart not just for his sake but for her as well. She mentioned that I not only brought them much inspiration but was a breath of fresh air. I mentioned that I was both honored with her kind words of praise and hope I truly can live up to her meaningful words about me. Mrs. K shared many personal experiences with her husband Mr. K. They were married for over 60 years. She mentioned that although she and her husband were both elderly and had so much to be thankful to H for, it is very difficult to accept that their marriage might very well be coming to an end, and she was having a difficult time accepting that might happen sooner than later. She appreciated my visits which she felt were comforting and reassuring. Her biggest concern when the Passover holiday was  coming soon that her husband wanted to fulfill all of the various mitzvos of the Seder even though he had dietary restrictions, would not be able to sit at the table only in a wheelchair and would not be able to remain being up for the entire Seder. She felt her husband was being stubborn for not accepting his challenges and would not listen to any of the hospice team, members of his synagogue, his rabbi or other family members had a close relationship with both Mr. and Mrs. K. However, Mr. K and I bonded, and he looked forward to my visits and his sharing of his various medical and personal difficulties dealing with his illness. He also shared his vision of how much it means to him looking forward to fulfilling all of the Passover Sedarim with wonderful memories of the many Sedarim he observed through the years. He also acknowledged that this might be his last and final Seder in his life. He appreciated that unlike all the others I understood his desire, and final wishes of wanting to fulfill his dream of having a complete Seder and those important mitzvos that will accompany him in Shamayim, in Heaven above. I offered recommendations of how he could fulfill those mitzvos and his dream in a significant way. I conferred with members of the MJHS team to ensure my recommendations would be viable for Mr. K. including taking a tiny sip of four cups of grape juice, in four intervals, licking the lettuce, dipping his finger into the salt water and tasting it, licking the matza and tasting a speck of matza meal.  The same with the “bitter herb” tasting a speck of a soft potato. The MJHS nurse and team reviewed what constituted a lick or a sip or taste within any of his requirements or restrictions. We reviewed the length of time Mr. K would be able to sit up or recline in his wheelchair or padded chair. Mr. K and I also reviewed the meaningful parts of the Haggadah to recite, and we sang some of the traditional songs he would sing at the Sedarim. We discussed how he and his wife can incorporate both of their Passover stories and how every moment together will be in the eyes of H very special. Both he and his wife shared tears about Mr. K’s eventual and inevitable end of life that might occur. However, they felt uplifted that both would hopefully  share meaningful Sedarim and that Passover will be truly special. Mr. K decided he will accept all of my suggestions and follow the guidelines of the nursing staff and hospice team as necessary. Their family will provide all preparations for Passover and would continue to be in touch with me. 

Mr. and Mrs. K and I spoke about the essence of emunah/faith, bitachon/trust in H and hope- hope for a Passover that will be an important and profound part of their lives filled with the joy of being together with holiness, goodness and doing many mitzvos. At their request, we also discussed end-of-life issues. Before I left their apartment for the last time before Passover, Mrs. K took me aside and apologized if I might have felt uncomfortable with her praises for me but felt they were deserving for all I had given to them with sincerity and kindness. In all of her life she never met or knew what a chaplain does and what she considered differences of approach between a rabbi who is also a chaplain and a rabbi of a synagogue including their synagogue. She truly felt there was hope that this Passover will be one of the most important Yom Tov of she and her husband will celebrate. She wanted to hold my hands and give me a hug but felt it might be disrespectful and decided to tell me her feelings were from her heart to my heart and that she would always be thankful to G for all that I and the hospice team kindness given to her and her husband. Some time after Passover Mr. K died and I continued to be in touch with Mrs. K. She shared with me how profound Passover was especially the Sedarim. I mentioned to her she could continue to be in touch me and that MJHS would be in touch with her for any grief counseling she may need. She felt that there was hope to look forward to prior to and during Passover and all the time she and her husband would still be together.

There are many stories of how hope can bring meaningful life for a hospice patient and for that matter anyone dealing with end-of-life issues, various illnesses and chronic pain. As a rabbi, as a chaplain, or any of my other positions dealing with my health and mental health programs I would find opportunities of finding and giving hope to those with many challenges in their lives. We give thanks to G for whatever we are able to do, able to accomplish and not what we are unable to do.

From= The Power of Hope, The One Essential of Life and Love by Rabbi Maurice Lamm, Rawson Associates Scribner. Simon & Schuster Inc.

 “Hope is natural. We all possess it. It needs only to be uncovered, not discovered.

  • Hope outlives the person. Over and over I have seen it- even when a human being knows it’s the end, he still harbors hope.
  • Harboring hope, he continues to believe in miracles. Believe with that person.
  • He may now hope for a life after death, for some immortality. This hope is not always articulated, but it is there. Believe it will happen. No one can deny it.
  • He had hopes for others-and for their futures. He knows there will be a future, even though he may not be there to share it. Acknowledge that.
  • He hopes he will die a hero. Heros are found not only in the battlefields, but wherever people struggle. Tell him he is one to you-it is a great solace you can offer.”

May we continue to bring kindness, goodness and hope to all who we minister to with a sincere heart and TLC/Tender-Loving-Care.

Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda Blank