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Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126 rablenblank@gmail.com
= March 12, 2026, 23, Adar, 5786=
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Advice. From the perspective by Rabbi Joey Haber.
“Yitro: Before Asking For Advice”
A true story of how advice was beneficial for a hospice patient that made
her Passover truly special weeks before her demise.
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From Rabbi Joey Haber, “Yitro: Before Asking for Advice”
From Jewish Vues, February 4th – February 10th, 2026
“Parshat Yitro describes a situation that is quite common – a father-in-law giving his son-in-law unsolicited advice
Yitro-the father of Mosheh Rabenu’s wife, Tzippora – observed how Moshe sat all day as the people lined up to consult with him, specifically, to resolve their disputes.
This worried Yitro, who warned Moshe that such an arrangement could be harmful to Moshe.
He therefore advised Moshe to appoint judges who would help him shoulder this burden of responsibility. They – not him – would advise the people, and only the ore difficult questions would come to Moshe for him to decide.
Notably, Mosheh accepted Yitro’s advice and appointed a network of judges.
Seeking advice is critically important. Somebody who doesn’t see advice, who always acts upon his own thoughts and decisions, is living in an island in his own head. If a person thinks he’s smarter and knows better than everyone else is, in “For one thing, we need to exercise discretion and not allow ourselves to take advice from everybody and anybody. Too many people offer “drive – thru” advise, just blurting out recommendations and suggestions without knowing anything about us, or about the situation. Telling someone to get married at a young age because the finances with work out, don’t worry, “without knowing anything about the person’s situation, is not necessarily great advice. The same goes for advice about what career to pursue, what schools to enroll in, and so on. “Off – the – cuff” advice given by someone who doesn’t have much knowledge about the person he or she is advising should be taken with a healthy dose of skepticism.
But there is also a more fundamental concern when it comes to advice, one which is developed by Rav Shlomo Wolbe, in a fascinating passage Aleh Shur.
Rav Wolbe laments the practice that many people have to immediately turn to a friend whenever they encounter any sort of question, whenever they are uncertain about how to proceed. This habit, Rav Wolbe writes, prevents a person from becoming wise. The proper approach is to first analyze both sides of the question, weigh the pros and the cons of each option, and then reach a decision. Afterward, one should bring his question, and his decision, to his fellow to receive his advice. If a person never develops the skill of decision-making, of reaching his own conclusions, then he will never live an authentic life. He will instead be living the life that other people tell him to live, without actualizing his unique potential and being the unique person that he’s supposed to be.
Significantly, Yitro began his advice to Moshe by telling him the following:
You shall warn them of the statutes and the laws, and you shall inform them of the path they should follow, and the actions that they should perform. (18:20)
Yitro was concerned not only about Moshe’s wellbeing, but also about the nation asking him for too much advice. He was worried about Moshe working too hard-but also that the people were coming to him right away with their problems, without first trying to w ork it out themselves. Therefore, his advice to Moshe was not only to appoint others to assist him-but also to instruct the people, to impart to them how H wants us to live our lives. This will encourage them to first look for the answers themselves before seeking advice.
As mentioned earlier, it is vitally important to get advice, to be open-minded, to recognize that we don’t have all the answers, and that we can often benefit from other people’s experience and perspectives. At the same time, however, we need to be careful not to outsource our lives, not to leave all our decisions in the hands of people who don’t really know us and what we’re going through.
In a famous pasuk in the Book of Mishleh (19:21), King Shlomo teaches, “There are many thoughts in a man’s heart, but it is the counsel of G that will prevail.” The common understanding of this pasuk is that as much as we plan and strive to do certain things, ultimately, it is the will of H that materializes. Rav Wolbe, however, offers a deeper eplanation of this pasuk. He explains that we have many “thoughts,” many different ideas, questions about whether we should do X or Y. But more often than not, we know wat atzas H is, what it is H wants of us. When we sort through the various many different thoughts and ideas, it is not difficult to determine atzas H, the right decision to make, the right thing to do.
Very often, when we face some uncertainty, we actually know the answer. It’s just a matter of being honest with ourselves and recognizing what H wants of us.
As important as it is to be open to advice-it is not less important to know when we don’t need advice, and when we need instead to listen to the atzas H, to have the strength and conviction to do what we know we should do.”
Through the years in the various rabbinic, hospice and communal positions I held, I was often requested for my advice, my opinion, my recommendations. I always prayed that I would give the appropriate words of wisdom that were meaningful. I attribute anything good I achieved to the Ribono shel Olam, to all that I learned from my Roshei Yeshiva, Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l and Rav Dovid Feinstein zt”l. Also from Rav Reuven Feinstein sol zein gezundt, my many mentors, including my Clinical Pastoral Education and my continuing education.
When I worked for MJHS hospice, I had patients of different ages and backgrounds. One of my hospice patients was a young woman in her fifties living alone though she had many friends, neighbors and family who would visit her often. One of her concerns for Passover was if she would be able to consume a particular yogurt, the only food she was able to eat and have any satisfaction. However, it was not available kosher for Passover. Amongst her many other questions how to observe Passover and her dire medical condition with the knowledge of how to cherish life as best as possible in the remaining months and days of her life was her concern about the yogurt. I shared with her my thoughts about being able to eat and hopefully enjoy at least the one food item she was able to consume. I realized how important it was for her to know that eating the yogurt would be without any doubt and she appreciated all I shared with her. Nevertheless, I mentioned, with her permission, for me to discuss it with the highest rabbinic authority in the community, the Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Dovid Feinstein. She was so pleased that I would ask on her behalf her concern if she would be able to have the yogurt during Passover which I did. He not only told me to tell her it was not only permissible, but not to have any guilty feelings and most of all, to enjoy eating the yogurt. When I came to visit her again, I conveyed what Rabbi Feinstein told me to tell her. She was so happy and her face filled with joy. Honestly, aside from possible kitniyus, there was nothing in the ingredients that was real chametz.
In my next Moments of Inspiration, I will share another story about an elderly gentleman who wanted to observe the Passover Sedarim even though he had very strict dietary and other requirements. We had many discussions when I visited him and following the Yom Tov his wife shared with me with tears from her eyes how both she and her husband were able to celebrate the Sedarim, the last ones of his life.
May we all merit the wisdom given to us by the Ribono shel Olam to help guide those who seek our advice and to enhance their lives with much kidushah, happiness and kindness.
Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda Blank