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Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126  rablenblank@gmail.com
June 5th, 2025, 9 Sivan 5785
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PLEASE BE MISPALLEL FOR MY DEAR CHASHUVA MECHUTAN
REB NASSON BAUMANN FOR A REFUAH SHELEIMA
NASSON BEN RAITZ
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A continuation of loneliness with other thoughts included.
The importance of doing good deeds/gemilus chasadim.
Caring for the lonely are also good deeds.
Being a mindful host for guests at your
Shabbos table not just for the recent Yom Tov of Shavuous.

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From Darash Moshe – Rabbi Moshe Feinstein on the Torah.
Artscroll Judaica Classics. Mesorah Publications Ltd.

Vayikra. Parshas Bechukosai. Page 219 (26:4) “Venasati gismaeichem beitam. Then I will provide your rains in their time.” “The expression “your rains” needs explanation. Are the rains not G’s? In what sense are they “our rain”? This teaches us that the universe functions only due to man’s good deeds. When one performs good deeds and observes H’s laws, the rain truly belong to him because it was for his sake that the rains came.”
I have written about loneliness in previous articles but would like to revisit this topic at this time. For many, any Yom Tov can be a lonely one for various reasons. Summertime is here and there are other reasons a person might feel lonely and even abandoned as you shall see. Already many shuls have two minyanim for Mincha and Kabbolas Shabbos to accommodate those who wish to observe an early Friday night Shabbos and tor those who wish to observe the regular Friday night Shabbos. Whatever the case, many who depend on the friendship of their neighbors often feel saddened and even abandoned when their neighbors who they depend on for Shabbos meals and social interaction are no longer around. There are many reasons for loneliness, not just being alone but feeling alone and it is important to be cognitive of those feelings. Two of the most famous women in Jewish history were Naomi and Rus. How lonely they must have been after their husbands died. Yet they had each other and most of all they had their relationship with the Ribono shel Olam. For the rabbis, rebbetzins and chaplains, the opportunities of addressing the concerns of loneliness are many. When having guests at a Shabbos meal try to speak about those things of interest which would be inviting for the guest to join in the conversation. It is also important to try and not discuss items that many feel depressing but should be discussions that are uplifting. Of course the Shabbos meals should always include Devrei Torah or topics that bring kedusha with lots of joyous, happy and uplifting spirits. Those who enjoy reading these articles can often make the difference of bringing even an ounce if not more of joy into a lonely person’s life. 

From: Mayo Clinic. “Does Loneliness Affect Your Health”
by Amit Shah, M.D.
Found in the Flatbush Jewish Journal, May 22, 2025 Page 58.

“Q. I worry about my neighbors who live alone. Are there health risks to loneliness? What can be done to help? 

“A. Up to 40% of older adults feel lonely. Loneliness can occur in all age groups, but people over the age of 60 have been shown to have higher incidents of both loneliness and social isolation. Loneliness is a feeling, while social isolation is something that can be measured. For example, how often do you talk to someone? How often do you leave the house? Do you attend religious services or other community events? Some people can be surrounded by a crowd but still feel lonely because they’re not experiencing good connections. Social isolation measures how often you interact with other people and genuinely connect.

Health risks associated with loneliness can include depression, anxiety, premature death, dementia, strokes, heart attacks and other chronic health risks. The health risks of a lack of social connections can be just as high as the health risks of obesity, smoking, physical inactivity or excessive alcohol consumption. If we pay attention to those other areas of our health, we should pay attention to social connectedness. High blood pressure, stroke, and heart attack risk increase as we age. If you combine that risk with someone who is also lonely, that can increase the health risk.

If someone falls who is socially isolated, the risk of complications from a potential hip fracture increases because no one may be checking in on them. if patients are admitted to the hospital for a heart attack and score high on loneliness, they are more likely to get readmitted to the hospital. If you need a colonoscopy but don’t have someone to drive you home, you might not get your needed procedure done. Health systems recognize these healthcare impacts and now routinely ask patients about their social connections. The U.K and Japanese governments have established ministerial leas addressing loneliness, including a “Campaign to End Loneliness” in the U.K.

There are many things you can do to address loneliness and social isolation. One of the best is addressing sensory deprivation, specifically hearing and vision. When someone has hearing loss, it becomes challenging (even with hearing aids) to go to a party or a crowded restaurant. The person withdraws because they can’t understand what’s happening around them. Things that can help this are getting your hearing checked, ensuring you have a suitable hearing aid and learning hoe to use it properly. These little “computers for your ears” can make interacting with people in a social setting easier.

Taking the first steps may be intimidating, but someone else’s assistance could help get you there. Social workers can be a great resource for connecting people to social resources. People may find support from hobby groups. You will find like the minded people when you do things you are passionate about or interested in. Many people benefit from intergenerational activities such as volunteering in schools and reading to children at the library. Social media and online resources can be another way to discover these opportunities. 

While social media is a tool that can be used to connect to people of similar interests, there is still a need for direct human interaction. Physical touch, such as a handshake or a hug, is vital from infancy onward. The holidays can be an intensified time for people to be aware of their loneliness. Maybe you saw someone throwing a holiday party, but you were home alone. Loneliness may spike during the holidays because of what is seen in the media, through our own expectations or loss of family connection.

When we feel lonely, we may feel like people should come to us and fill our cups, but sometimes it’s up to us to put ourselves out there. Even if you take a moment to make a small interaction at the grocery store, it may make your world seem a little less lonely. If we can start giving some energy to the universe, the universe will give it back to us and help us all feel more connected to each other.”

The following are worthy suggestions that are important not just for Shavuous but for the entire year. 

Please don’t forget that there are many who have very specific allergies to various foods and also lactose and gluten intolerance. Thereby they are not able to have any dairy products but might be able to have parve cheese cake and parve ice cream etc. There are many who are unable to have any products made from wheat and must have gluten-free bread, cakes, pizza etc. Today, there are so many products available to enjoy. Many are allergic to various nuts including peanuts and can have a serious allergic reaction just by inhaling the smell. It is truly a nice gesture showing care for another person to plan ahead and have items your guests could partake in and enjoy. Here is another thought about having guests for a Shabbos meal. I know of a couple that were on a diet which included low fat items. The host did ask if they would like fresh salads and the response was positive. However, every type of choice of salad had a lot of mayonnaise or oil which was not part of their diet. There are many who also limit their salt intake as well as processed foods including various cold cuts and also red meats. I almost left out items with sugar. Many might be either diabetic or limited in their sugar consumption. OK, you cannot think of everything but that is why I have included this paragraph to be mindful, and especially not to be insulted should a guest decline a certain item that is being offered. 

May we all be zoche to share in simchos and for all those who seek a refuah sheleima for it to happen speedily. We give thanks to H for all that we are able to do and don’t focus on what we are unable to do. We say our bakashos and seek His guidance. We are mispallel for His kindness and His goodness which we pray will imbue us with the right directions to take every day of our lives and may those days always be filled with hope.

From The Gentle Weapon
Prayers for Everyday and Not-So-Everyday Moments
Timeless Wisdom from the Teachings of the Hasidic Master
Rebbe Nachman of Breslov
Jewish Lights Publishing

“CLARITY AND ASSURANCE”

“O   G  d,
Grant me clarity
and assurance
in whatever I do.
Teach me to trust in wise teachers-
to learn from their insightful words.
Teach me to trust in true friends-
to treasure their care and concern.
Teach me to trust in myself-
to judge my own course
correctly,
and so to live
with conviction
and hope.”

Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda Blank