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Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126 rablenblank@gmail.com
May 29th, 2025, 2 Sivan
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PLEASE BE MISPALLEL FOR MY DEAR CHASHUVA MECHUTAN
REB NASSON BAUMANN FOR A REFUAH SHELEIMA
NASSON BEN RAITZ
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I have written about loneliness in previous articles but would like to revisit this topic at this time. For many, any Yom Tov can be a lonely one for various reasons. Summertime is here and there are other reasons a person might feel lonely and even abandoned as you shall see. Already many shuls have two minyanim for Mincha and Kabbolas Shabbos to accommodate those who wish to observe an early Friday night Shabbos and tor those who wish to observe the regular Friday night Shabbos. Whatever the case, many who depend on the friendship of their neighbors often feel saddened and even abandoned when their neighbors who they depend on for Shabbos meals and social interaction are no longer around. There are many reasons for loneliness, not just being alone but feeling alone and it is important to be cognitive of those feelings. Two of the most famous women in Jewish history were Naomi and Rus. How lonely they must have been after their husbands died. Yet they had each other and most of all they had their relationship with the Ribono shel Olam. For the rabbis, rebbetzins and chaplains, the opportunities of addressing the concerns of loneliness are many. Those who enjoy reading these articles can often make the difference of bringing even an ounce if not more of joy into a lonely person’s life.
I wish to acknowledge the 5th yartzheit of Keila Lutza bas Shalom Hakohen a”l. She was a wonderful Aishes Chayil, Mother, Bubby and friend to one and all. She had a special relationship with Rebbetzin Malke Feinstein tichye who we are mispallel will continue to inspire our mishpacha and of course, Klal Yisrael. Even up to the very end of her life, Keila had a tremendous relationship with emunah and bitachon in H. She very firmly conveyed her he love of H to her mishpacha and for them to continue in life with the same love. She wanted her mishpacha to make the best of every moment in life including marriage, bar mitzvas, bas mitzvas, brisim, and many other simchos. She did not want anyone to feel or to be lonely and for everyone to find much joy and happiness in their lives.
Her yartzheit is the first day of Shavuous. The last two mitzvos she did as she was lying in her hospital bed at home was to make the two brachos on the lighting of the candles. Both she and Rav Dovid Feintstein zt”l shared with me the importance to go on on with life and not look back with sadness but with deep appreciation for all that the Ribono shel Olam has done. They told me to look towards the future with hope for good things to come. They shared the importance of not being stuck in the past but to seek new opportunities not only in avodas H but in happiness as well. Keila requested before she was nifter that the following quote to be included in my article, “When things look blue, remember that tomorrow is another day and will be a brighter day.” Rather than feeling lonely, or sad about her yartzheit, all of the mishpacha including myself feel encouraged with feelings of joy and hope for the present and the future. Our emunah and bitachon only gets stronger day after day.
May we all be zoche to share in simchos and for all those who seek a refuah sheleima for it to happen speedily. We give thanks to H for all that we are able to do and don’t focus on what we are unable to do.
May Keila Lutza bas Shalom Hakohen a”h be a malitza yeshara for her entire mishpacha and for Klal Yisrael.
From: Mayo Clinic. “Does Loneliness Affect Your Health”
by Amit Shah, M.D.
Found in the Flatbush Jewish Journal, May 22, 2025 Page 58.
“Q. I worry about my neighbors who live alone. Are there health risks to loneliness? What can be done to help?
“A. Up to 40% of older adults feel lonely. ,Loneliness can occur in all age groups, but people over the age of 60 have been shown to have higher incidents of both loneliness and social isolation. Loneliness is a feeling, while social isolation is something that can be measured. For example, how often do you talk to someone? How often do you leave the house? Do you attend religious services or other community events? Some people can be surrounded by a crowd but still feel lonely because they’re not experiencing good connections. Social isolation measures how often you interact with other people and genuinely connect.
Health risks associated with loneliness can include depression, anxiety, premature death, dementia, strokes, heart attacks and other chronic health risks. The health risks of a lack of social connections can be just as high as the health risks of obesity, smoking, physical inactivity or excessive alcohol consumption. If we pay attention to those other areas of our health, we should pay attention to social connectedness. High blood pressure, stroke, and heart attack risk increase as we age. If you combine that risk with someone who is also lonely, that can increase the health risk.
If someone falls who is socially isolated, the risk of complications from a potential hip fracture increases because no one may be checking in on them. if patients are admitted to the hospital for a heart attack and score high on loneliness, they are more likely to get readmitted to the hospital. If you need a colonoscopy but don’t have someone to drive you home, you might not get your needed procedure done. Health systems recognize these healthcare impacts and now routinely ask patients about their social connections. The U.K and Japanese governments have established ministerial leas addressing loneliness, including a “Campaign to End Loneliness” in the U.K.\
There are many things you can do to address loneliness and social isolation. One of the best is addressing sensory deprivation, specifically hearing and vision. When someone has hearing loss, it becomes challenging (even with hearing aids) to go to a party or a crowded restaurant. The person withdraws because they can’t understand what’s happening around them. Things that can help this are getting your hearing checked, ensuring you have a suitable hearing aid and learning hoe to use it properly. These little “computers for your ears” can make interacting with people in a social setting easier.
Taking the first steps may be intimidating, but someone else’s assistance could help get you there. Social workers can be a great resource for connecting people to social resources. People may find support from hobby groups. You will find like the minded people when you do things you are passionate about or interested in. Many people benefit from intergenerational activities such as volunteering in schools and reading to children at the library. Social media and online resources can be another way to discover these opportunities.
While social media is a tool that can be used to connect to people of similar interests, there is still a need for direct human interaction. Physical touch, such as a handshake or a hug, is vital from infancy onward. The holidays can be an intensified time for people to be aware of their loneliness. Maybe you saw someone throwing a holiday party, but you were home alone. Loneliness may spike during the holidays because of what is seen in the media, through our own expectations or loss of family connection.
When we feel lonely, we may feel like people should come to us and fill our cups, but sometimes it’s up to us to put ourselves out there. Even if you take a moment to make a small interaction at the grocery store, it may make your world seem a little less lonely. If we can start giving some energy to the universe, the universe will give it back to us and help us all feel more connected to each other.”
Shavuous and post Shavuous suggestions. Please don’t forget that there are many who have very specific allergies to various foods and also lactose and gluten intolerance. Thereby they are not able to have any dairy products but might be able to have parve cheese cake and parve ice cream etc. There are many who are unable to have any products made from wheat and must have gluten-free bread, cakes, pizza etc. Today, there are so many products available to enjoy. It is truly a nice gesture showing care for another person to plan ahead and have items your guests could partake in and enjoy. For those who are homebound sharing holiday stories or learning with them would be a nice touch for Shavuous. Keep that special spirit going right into the next Shabbos Kodesh only three days later.
Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda Blank