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Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126 rablenblank@gmail.com
== June 27 , 2024, Sivan 21, 5784==
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There are two links at the bottom of this article.
One link is to the flyer, program and video recording of the conference June 16, 2024 with Rabbi Welcher and Rabbi Zohn “Halachic Challenges of The Orthodox Healthcare Jewish Chaplains; End of Life and Postmortem Issues. As with all of the webinars, this one covered many important areas. I highly recommend taking the time to watc, listen and learn from the many facets dealing with end of life and postmortem issues, including living wills and so much more.
The second link is to the video recording of the Orthodox Healthcare Jewish Chaplain of the Year award ceremony bestowed upon Rabbi Dr. Hillel Fox at the RCA Conference.
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Confidentiality/A sacred trust.
Important aspects of leadership.
Being a leader is not only about taking charge and follow me.
Being a leader is also to be a person who is a role model in
wisdom, knowing what to say, when to say, when to listen
and most of all, to be understanding.
“Ata chonein leadam daas.”
The ultimate wisdom.
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Rabbis, rebbetzins and chaplains, as well as many other professionals understand the significance of confidentiality, what HIPPA is about and the sanctity of keeping the trust of those who we offer care to. Sometimes it takes diplomacy of how to respond to those who have a need to know about others in their challenging times. Sometimes a firm, “I’m sorry but it is not appropriate for me to share personal information about another person. We have to be the protector of other people’s personal lives and not share or divulge information that is private or may be embarrassing to reveal. Confidentiality is a sacred trust. Hatzalah members truly are protectors of people’s privacy. Neighbors sometimes want to know why their neighbor is being taken to a hospital. It might be due to a medical condition the patient might not want to share with others or medications he/she is taking.* In the following story about the Sanza Rav, Rabbi Chaim Halberstam of Sanz, who shows by example the importance and sanctity of confidentiality. From the L’Chaim, a weekly Lubavitch publication. Number 1828, 15 Sivan, 5784 June 21, 2024. “It Happened Once” “Rabbi Chaim Halberstam of Sanz, known as the Sanzer Rav, was deeply involved in the mitzva of tzedakah (charity), giving with an open hand from his own funds and soliciting from others as well. In keeping with the rabbinical dictum that charity collectors should travel in pairs, he always went on his rounds with a respected member of the community.
One time Rabbi Chaim set about to collect a large amount of tzedaka for a certain wealthy man who had gone bankrupt. He and a trusted companion went about from house to house soliciting funds, when they came to the elegant home of one of the richest men in the city. They entered the beautifully appointed anteroom and were shown to a velvet sofa where they were served tea from a silver tea service while they waited for the master of the house to appear. After a few minutes a well dressed gentleman entered and greeted the illustrious Rabbi warmly.
The Rabbi and his companion requested that the wealthy man donate the large amount of five hundred rubles for an unspecified “worthy cause.”
The rich man considered their request for a few minutes and then asked, “Tell me, exactly what is the cause you’re collecting for? Is it for some public institution or for a private person?”
Rabbi Chaim replied that he was collecting for a wealthy citizen who had lost all his money and gone into bankruptcy. But this answer wasn’t sufficient for the man, and he began to inquire further about the identity of the person.
“I’m sorry.” Replied Rabbi Chaim, “but I cannot divulge the man’s name, since that would cause him terrible embarrassment. You’ll just have to trust me when I tell you that he’s a very deserving individual.”
The rich man refused to be dissuaded from his curious pursuit of the man’s identity. “Of course, I trust you implicitly, and I would be only too happy to donate even several thousand rubles to help you, but I would like to know to whom I’m giving the money.”
At this point the man who was accompanying the Rabbi interjected his opinion that perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to divulge the man’s identity in this case. Certainly the rich donor wouldn’t allow the information to leave the room, and it was a wonderful opportunity to amass the large amount of money to help a fellow Jew rebuild his life.
But Rabbi Chaim would say only that the man had up until recently been one of the pillars of the community and had himself contributed to many worthy causes before his unfortunate business collapse. Again he protested that he couldn’t and wouldn’t publicize the mans name.
The rich man, far from being silenced, was even more aroused in his curiosity. “If you tell me his name I will give you half of the entire amount you need.”
His fellow collector again tried ot convince the Rav to tell the man’s name, in view of the tremendous sum of money involved, but to no avail.
“You must understand,” he replied, “that even though the sum you are offering is more generous, the honor of this Jew is more important and valuable to me than any amount of money! If you were to give me the total sum that I require, I would still refuse to reveal the identity of the recipient!”
The rich man’s countenance changed suddenly and he became very still. He quietly asked Reb Chaim to step into an adjacent room, for he wished to speak to him privately.
Standing alone with the Rabbi, the rich man broke down into bitter sobbing. “Rebbe, he began, “I too have lost my entire fortune and am about to enter into bankruptcy. I was too embarrassed to tell this to anyone, but when I saw how scrupulously you guarded the other man’s privacy I knew I could trust you. Please forgive me for testing you in such an outrageous manner, but I am a desperate man. I needed to know for sure that under no circumstances would you tell anyone about my terrible situation. I am in debt for such a large sum, I have no hope at all of repaying it. I’m afraid that I will have no choice but to leave my family and go begging from door to door.
The Sanzer Rav left the home of the rich man, and needless to say, not a soul ever heard a word of their conversation. Less than a week later he returned to the same man’s house with a large sum of money. He had been able to raise enough money to rescue not only the original intended recipient, but this one as well. They were both able to pay off their debts and resume their business successfully.
The role of the saintly Sanzer Rav in this affair became known only many years later after he had gone to his eternal reward.”
At one time or another, a person who we are ministering to, or a colleague, or friend has a perplexing situation and is seeks advice, an opinion or wishes to get a situation off one’s chest. There are many ways to meet the challenge of what to say, or what not to say but just to listen. Having the wisdom of helping a person work out a situation or reflect upon what he is sharing are some important directions to take. We all at one time or another seek advice from our poskim and our zekeinem, but as rabbis, rebbetzins and chaplains, others are seeking our wisdom.
The following is from Parshas Beha’aloscha, Rabbi Bender on Chumash by Rabbi Yaakov Bender, Artscroll Series,Mesorah Publications Ltd and also found in the Flatbush Jewish Journal , June 20, 2024 Page 85. “Then H said to Moshe, “Assemble for Me seventy men of the elders of Israel, whom you know to be the people’s elders…”(11:16). “After the people complain to Moshe Rabbeinu that they are hungry, Moshe turns to h, wondering how he is meant to feed all the people, Hakadosh Baruch Hu instructs Moshe Rabbeinu to gather together seventy zekeinim, elders from the ziknei Yisrael.
The Ramban wonders what sort of solution this was. Were the zekeinim capable of producing meat for hundreds of thousands of people? Did they have a supply of food that Moshe did not? The Ramban (11:14; in Artscroll edition) writes such revealing words: Moshe thought that the leaders would appease the wrath of the people by speaking to their hearts when they would start complaining. Here, the Ramban is sharing the secret of leadership. Leaders know how to placate, to listen to, to sooth, to make the other person feel like he is being heard and this way, his anger subsides on its own.
Many times, people are angry only because they feel ignored, and they lash our because they are starving for warmth or respect.
R’ Eizik Sher embodied the dignity of Slabodka, and he was the one who planted the path of his father-in-law, the Alter of Slabodka, in Eretz Yisrael.
One morning, the rosh yeshivah, R’ Eizik was walking toward the newly built yeshiva in Bnei Brak, each step measured and focused, the walk of a baal mussar. As he walked, a young woman suddenly came rushing down the very same path, blocking R’ Eizik’s way. The rosh yeshiva’s attendant gestured for her to step aside, but she seemed not to notice and hurried by them without a word of apology. The talmid accompanying the rosh yeshiva was irate at the impudence of the woman. The rosh yeshiva was silent, continuing his walk toward yeshiva.
R’ Eizik waited a full day, as is the practice of true baalei mussar, before discussing the matter with his talmid. “Let us consider the full picture,” R. Eizik said, “and analyze what happened. I was walking along the path. I Eizik Sher wake up in the morning and my devoted rebbetzin has a hot drink waiting for me. I make my way to Shacharis at the yeshivah, an all along the way, people nod to me in greeting, opening doors for me as I pass, since I am a rosh yeshivah. In the yeshivah itself, someone has placed a siddur on my shtender and another talmid comes forward, vying for the chance to carry my talis and tefillin. I daven at the front of the large room, in place of respect along the eastern wall. “When davening is over, I sit and learn in peace for a few precious minutes before heading home for a delicious breakfast prepared by my dedicated rebbetzin, who is completely focused on my well-being.
“That is my story,” R’Eizik said, “but now let us consider her story, what her morning looks like. She is young, and likely has several children already, possibly even an infant who cried throughout the night, making sleep difficult for her. Then when morning comes, there are several other children who need to be dressed and fed. She runs around trying heroically to meet the demand of each one, and finally, with tefillah on her lips, she sends them off to cheder. She wants so badly to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee or a piece of toast but when she looks at the clock, she knows it is impossible.”
The rosh yeshivah continued, “She must work hard in order to support her husband, who is learning in kollel, and she is gratified to be his partner, yet the long hours sometimes exhaust her. Her boss has informed her that she must start arriving punctually, so she hurries out of the house without a moment to relax. “On the way, she barely notices the old man, walking slowly and leisurely, enjoying the warm sunshine and soft breeze. She sees none of it , only he empty chair at work and the boss’s face. “Yet,” finished R’ Eizik, “the elderly man keeps walking so slowly, blocking her path, so she steps aside and runs around him, so anxious is she. “She is not disrespectful, because she did not even see me,” the rosh yeshivah concluded. “She is valiant and strong, worthy of the greatest praise.”
That is a leader, one calm and capable of seeing the reality of another. A Zakein, experienced, wise, loving, perceives what is really going on, and a nation blessed with zekeinim will automatically feel heard and seen.
And then, they will be less unhappy.”
From Artscroll Siddur Mesorah Publications Ltd. As we recite in the daily Shemoneh Esrei “You have graciously endowed man with wisdom and teach to a (frail) mortal insight. Endow man with wisdom and teach to a [frail] mortal insight. Endow us graciously from Yourself with wisdom insight, and discernment. Blessed are You gracious Giver of wisdom.”
“Bina/Insight. Ata chonein leadam daas- You graciously endow man with wisdom. [This blessing begins the middle section of the Shemoneh Esrei, in which man makes his requests of G. The first plea is for wisdom and understanding-because man’s intelligence is his primary characteristic, the one that sets him apart from animals]. We ask for wisdom and for insight, so that we can draw proper conclusions and achieve intellectual discernment (Vilna Gaon).”
The ultimate wisdom.
From A Handbook of Jewish Thought, by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Volume 2 Moznaim Publishing Corporation. Page 379 “Our prophets and sages did not long for the Messianic Era in order that they might rule the world and dominate the gentiles. They did not desire that the nations should honor them, or that they should be able to eat, drink and be merry. They only wanted one thing, and that was to be free to involve themselves in the Torah and its wisdom. They wanted nothing to disturb or distract them, in order that they should be able to strive to become worthy of the life in the World to Come.”
Our rabbonim, our rebbetzins and our chaplains are sought after for advice, opinions, and our warm and caring hearts. H gives us many gifts for the sole purpose of helping others, especially in their time of need. We are mispallel to use those gifts of wisdom and understanding to the best of our abilities.
From: The Gentle Weapon: Prayers for Everyday and Not-So-Everyday Moments. Timeless Wisdom from the Teachings of the Hasidic Master, Rebbe Nachman of Breslov.
“Learning Life’s Lessons”
Dear G,
let my heart
grasp
the profound wisdom
with which You created
the world.
Help me understand
that life’s difficulties
are in fact her opportunities;
life’s endings
are also her beginnings;
life’s disappointments
are her finest teachers.”
Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda Blank