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Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126 rablenblank@gmail.com,
** June 11, 2026, 26, Sivan, 5786 **
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There are many lessons to be learned from the Bnei Yisrael’s response and reactions to the Meraglim. It is difficult to understand after all the goodness and protection from the Ribono shel Olam why they would seek the advice from anyone other than Moshe Rabbeinu, Yehoshua ben Nun and Kalev ben Yefuneh? It is not my intention in this article to analyze what occurred but to share some thought-provoking ideas of the importance of seeking advice from a person(s) truly interested in a meaningful discussion with no hidden agendas. When a person is seeking advice, it is vital to find a person he/she can trust. Most of all it is important to have faith and trust in H.
It is not uncommon for a patient or their loved one to research the best possible medical treatment and doctors, sometimes seeking a second opinion before consenting to a specific treatment. The same can be said about any situation where a decision must be made that will have an impact on one’s future one way or another. The same is true when seeking information about a shidduch, finding a school to send a son or daughter, or the best summer or day camp etc. The question a person should ask him/herself what type of information is being sought? Does a person want to hear the positive or the negative? The negatives should not lead to loshon harah. Discussions should always be with finesse, respect, courteous, pleasant, meaningful, truthful, non-opinionated and non-judgmental. Advice should be given without any pretense or one sided.
Advice. From the perspective by Rabbi Joey Haber.
“Yitro: Before Asking For Advice”
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From Rabbi Joey Haber, “Yitro: Before Asking for Advice”
From Jewish Vues, February 4th – February 10th, 2026
“Parshat Yitro describes a situation that is quite common – a father-in-law giving his son-in-law unsolicited advice
Yitro-the father of Mosheh Rabenu’s wife, Tzippora – observed how Moshe sat all day as the people lined up to consult with him, specifically, to resolve their disputes.
This worried Yitro, who warned Moshe that such an arrangement could be harmful to Moshe.
He therefore advised Moshe to appoint judges who would help him shoulder this burden of responsibility. They – not him – would advise the people, and only the ore difficult questions would come to Moshe for him to decide.
Notably, Mosheh accepted Yitro’s advice and appointed a network of judges.
Seeking advice is critically important. Somebody who doesn’t see advice, who always acts upon his own thoughts and decisions, is living in an island in his own head. If a person thinks he’s smarter and knows better than everyone else is, in “For one thing, we need to exercise discretion and not allow ourselves to take advice from everybody and anybody. Too many people offer “drive – thru” advise, just blurting out recommendations and suggestions without knowing anything about us, or about the situation. Telling someone to get married at a young age because the finances with work out, don’t worry, “without knowing anything about the person’s situation, is not necessarily great advice. The same goes for advice about what career to pursue, what schools to enroll in, and so on. “Off – the – cuff” advice given by someone who doesn’t have much knowledge about the person he or she is advising should be taken with a healthy dose of skepticism.
But there is also a more fundamental concern when it comes to advice, one which is developed by Rav Shlomo Wolbe, in a fascinating passage Aleh Shur.
Rav Wolbe laments the practice that many people have to immediately turn to a friend whenever they encounter any sort of question, whenever they are uncertain about how to proceed. This habit, Rav Wolbe writes, prevents a person from becoming wise. The proper approach is to first analyze both sides of the question, weigh the pros and the cons of each option, and then reach a decision. Afterward, one should bring his question, and his decision, to his fellow to receive his advice. If a person never develops the skill of decision-making, of reaching his own conclusions, then he will never live an authentic life. He will instead be living the life that other people tell him to live, without actualizing his unique potential and being the unique person that he’s supposed to be.
Significantly, Yitro began his advice to Moshe by telling him the following:
You shall warn them of the statutes and the laws, and you shall inform them of the path they should follow, and the actions that they should perform. (18:20)
Yitro was concerned not only about Moshe’s wellbeing, but also about the nation asking him for too much advice. He was worried about Moshe working too hard-but also that the people were coming to him right away with their problems, without first trying to w ork it out themselves. Therefore, his advice to Moshe was not only to appoint others to assist him-but also to instruct the people, to impart to them how H wants us to live our lives. This will encourage them to first look for the answers themselves before seeking advice.
As mentioned earlier, it is vitally important to get advice, to be open-minded, to recognize that we don’t have all the answers, and that we can often benefit from other people’s experience and perspectives. At the same time, however, we need to be careful not to outsource our lives, not to leave all our decisions in the hands of people who don’t really know us and what we’re going through.
In a famous pasuk in the Book of Mishleh (19:21), King Shlomo teaches, “There are many thoughts in a man’s heart, but it is the counsel of G that will prevail.” The common understanding of this pasuk is that as much as we plan and strive to do certain things, ultimately, it is the will of H that materializes. Rav Wolbe, however, offers a deeper explanation of this pasuk. He explains that we have many “thoughts,” many different ideas, questions about whether we should do X or Y. But more often than not, we know wat atzas H is, what it is H wants of us. When we sort through the various many different thoughts and ideas, it is not difficult to determine atzas H, the right decision to make, the right thing to do.
Very often, when we face some uncertainty, we actually know the answer. It’s just a matter of being honest with ourselves and recognizing what H wants of us.
As important as it is to be open to advice-it is not less important to know when we don’t need advice, and when we need instead to listen to the atzas H, to have the strength and conviction to do what we know we should do.”
May we all merit the wisdom given to us by the Ribono shel Olam to help guide those who seek our advice and to enhance their lives with much kidushah, happiness and kindness.
Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda Blank