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Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126 rablenblank@gmail.com
*** May 1, 2025, Iyar 3 5785***
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I have read many stories of rabbonim and rebbetzins whose caring touch, often brings smiles to hospital staff when they least expect it. I recently spoke to a chaplain of a well known medical center who shared his own trying times, juggling his own family responsibilities before Pesach. His heart wrenching stories of caring for those he ministers to- patients, family members, caregivers and hospital staff and his need for self-care touched my heart. On top of these challengers there are perhaps millions of things he has to take care of as a hospital chaplain. Also, chaplains today not only offer pastoral care to their Jewish patients but are required to offer care to patients of all backgrounds no matter what their beliefs might be. However, there are boundaries a Jewish chaplain must always have. There are also wonderful ways everyone can bring smiles and good will to hospital staff as a visitor and as an a outpatient patient who might only engage with certain staff once in a while. This is also for my lay readership. Often a person going to a medical facility whether it be at a clinic, doctors office, specialty clinic for lab tests, radiology etc. might perceive the technicians or the medical staff to be somewhat pressured. Quite often they will perk up and appreciate a kind word, some cute but respectful words of praise or acknowledgement of the work they do or just a simple thank you. Sometimes while sitting in the waiting room it is not unusual for a lonely person to start up a conversation. So why not meet with that person halfway and join the conversation. It is important not to ask personal or medical questions or discuss certain topics another person might take afront to. Kiddush H comes in many different forms. Showing and giving kindness is one of them, especially when you least expect it. When I was rounding in hospitals during my hospice chaplaincy, I would often meet with patients and or their family members in the waiting room or lounge. If the room was large enough and a corner away from ear shot of anyone else I would spend time with family members as they felt comfortable sitting on the lounge chairs so we could shmooz. Not every conversation had to be a serious one. Of course when privacy was needed I would try to find a quiet private location. Often, there would be someone sitting by themselves who when they saw my ID badge would request time with me even if their family member was not my patient. I always would inform that person I am not his/her relative’s assigned chaplain but if they wanted to spend time talking to me I would. It was not unusual for me to be engaging or speaking to men and women of different backgrounds, Jewish and not Jewish. To me, every person is special and deserving of being treated with TLC . Of course, being a trained chaplain I have a little more sensitivity, being able to have a meaningful conversation and dialogue with others especially if they are going through a difficult time. Yet even by just listening to a person’s woes, a comforting word can be very meaningful. There were many times, when I least expected it, the person who I would be speaking to would breakdown and start crying. After a while, that person would thank me profusely for being there for her/him. By the way, many chaplains are expected to give pastoral support to the staff. Often family members or visitors get the impression that medical staff might not be friendly not realizing the pressure they might be going through to ensure all proper care is being given to multiple patients during their rotation. Chaplains are a very important asset to the staff, being there for them especially when dealing with death and dying situations. Many don’t know this but there is something called blessing of the hands. When I first learned about this so called ritual, I thought it was some type of made up religious ritual. However, the staff would share with me how much they wanted to be blessed to be caring medical individuals so they could care for their patients to the best of their ability. I had other professionals request my blessings such as mental health professionals, social workers and others praying that they would be blessed with meaningful words and advice. I would make my words into a connection with the Holy One wanting to be kind and helpful to others. All of us have a connection to the Holy One but for those of us in chaplaincy we must seize the opportunity of uplifting the spirits of others. Rabbis and rebbetzins have tremendous opportunities in the spiritual sense to help bring a closer kesher er to the Ribono shel Olam. On a personal note, I share with my own doctors my appreciation for all that they do for me. I stress how vital and important they are in what they do to enhance a patients quality of life, giving realistic hope when and wherever possible. We all have to say B H for ultimately everything is up to H and we are the recipients of His love and His kindness . We all go through challenging and difficult times and we all need each other. Most of all we need H for with Him, everything is possible. We have an obligation to be kind, caring and sincere. Making a Kiddush H is dependent on that for if we truly want to convey kindness to others we must believe in ourselves that it is the only way of life. It is important to feel it in our bones, of how much we love H and want Him to be proud of us which includes being an optimistic and upbeat person with a positive demeanor. In order to share the essence and imbue hope, one must truly have emunah and betachon in H. To bestow and convey kindness, one must sincerely want to do kindness.
Our Ethics of Our Fathers, Pirke Avos begins with the theme of Torah, Avodah and Gemilus Chasadim. To do acts of kindness, gemilus chasadim is to do so because that is an obligation for us. Of course we should want to help others whether we know that person or not. We should have a meaningful desire to be kind and to do maysim tovim with all of our heart.
From: Pirkei Avos Ethics Of The Fathers
The Pirkei Avos Treasury
The Sages Guide To Living
By Artscroll Mesorah Publications Ltd. Volume 1 Page 15
G’s desire. Once R’ Yochanan ben Zakai an R” Yehoshua were leaving Jerusalem. They noticed the Temple lying in ruins. R”Yehoshua said,”Woe to us that the place where we sought forgiveness for our sins is destroyed!” R” Yochanan ben Zakkai answered, “My son, don’t be upset. We have a means of achieving forgiveness which is equal to the Temple service-acts of kindness, as the verse states (Hosea 6:6): For loving -not sacrifice – was My desire” (Avos d’Rabbi Nosson 4)
The word chesed means to go beyond established boundaries. Hence, a chasid is one who goes beyond the letter of the law (lifnim meshuras hadin). Why is the term chesed appropriate for acts of kindness? R’Shlomo Freifeld explained: A person is by nature egocentric, only concerned with his own personal needs and desires. Only when one can go beyond the boundaries of his self-centeredness is he ready to do chesed.
The term gemilus chasadim literally means the repaying of a favor. Even when does a favor for someone he never met before, he is repaying the favors the G does for him. There is really no way to pay G back; the only thing we can do is to attempt to make up to Him by helping His children or creatures (R’ A.C. Feuer).”
“V’ al gemilus chasadim- and upon acts of loving-kindness. This is based on the verse in Psalms (89:3): For I said, The world will be built through kindness. Rambam (Hilchos Aivel 14:1) lists some of the most important acts of kindness: “It is a rabbinically ordained positive commandment to visit and inquire after the welfare of the sick, to remove the dead (for burial), to bring the bride to the wedding canopy, to accompany departing guests and to be involved with all burial preparations the bier, eulogizing, digging the grave, and burial. Similarly, [included in this rabbinic injunction is] gladdening the hearts of bride and groom. Even though all these mitzvos are rabbinically ordained, they are included in the Biblical mitzvah, You shall love your fellow as yourself (Leviticus 19:18). [This means that] all things that you want others to do for you, you should do for [one who is considered] your brother in Torah and mitzvos.” Yalkut ( Hosea 524) quotes G: The acts of benevolence that you do for each other are dearer to Me than all the thousand sacrifices which King Soloman brought before Me.
Rambam explains the three items as a prescription for cosmic success. Through the pursuit of Torah knowledge (Torah), exemplary character traits (gemilus chasadim), and fulfillment of the mitzvos (avodah), the world will achieve a balanced perfection.
“Acts of kindness are greater than charity since they can be done for both the rich and the poor, while charity can be given only to the poor. Charity can be done with one’s money, while acts of loving-kindness can be performed both personally and with one’s money.”
From: Faith and Trust
By Rabbi Shemuel Houminer: “Tie One’s Thoughts to G’s Kindness” Pages 24, 25. “The Maggid of Mezritch explains the verse, “He who trusts in G will be surrounded by kindness” (Tehillim 32:10), to mean that a man’s soul clings to that which occupies his thoughts. Should his thoughts be tied to G’s judgment, his soul will be judged. When a person trusts in G’s attribute of kindness, his soul will cling there, and “kindness will surround him.” Therefore, he should constantly immerse himself in thoughts of G.
(Maggid of Mezritch)
“True Happiness” (ibid pages 24,25) The one who trusts in G is always happy, as the verse says, “Let our hearts rejoice, for we have trusted in His holy name” (Tehillim 33:21)
(Eved Ha-melech)
(ibid Pages 42,43) “Reinforce One’s Trust” “Hope in H. Be strong and let your heart take courage. Hope in H” (Tehillim 27:14). This verse commands us to trust in G, and to work on increasing this trust to the fullest.”
(Eved Ha-melech)
(ibid Pages 42, 43) “Further Reinforcement” “Tehillim (31:25) denotes the same theme. “Be strong and let your hearts take courage, all you who hope in H.”
Pesach is over. We wished each other “a gutten zummer” and now there are many new challenges in life. Whatever they may be, we are mispallel to overcome any difficulties and to be successful in all of our meaningful endeavors. Our prayer should also include having the willpower of never giving up hope and to have faith and trust in G. May we seek only positive outcomes. We hope never to speak loshon harah, not to find fault in others or to be judgmental.
“The Chofetz Chaim’s caution in avoiding Loshon HoRah was legendary. He wrote several seforim devoted to the subject, and his essays on it have been compiled in English under the title of Guard Your Tongue. They are require reading for every Jew interested in self-improvement.
The Chofetz Chaim once paid a visit to a paid a visit to a prospective supporter of his yeshiva. When he arrived , the man, a wealthy businessman, was in the midst of preparing a telegram to his business partner. He rose to greet the Chofetz Chaim and engaged him in conversation. Soon it became apparent to the Chofetz Chaim that the discussion was leading to talk about a certain individual, and that Loshon HoRah might ensue.
The Chofetz Chaim suddenly arose and glanced at the telegram on the man’s desk. “It looks as if you had carefully thought out every single word here,” he commented “for you’ve rewritten this several times.” “I certainly have” said the man. “Every unnecessary word here will cost me extra money.”
The Chofetz Chaim marveled at this. “If only everyone was as careful as this when choosing what to say!” he noted. Don’t they know that every unnecessary word they speak will cost them dearly in the World to Come?” “Keep your mouth from evil talk and live a life of peace.” (Derech Eretz Zuta)
From Lilmud Ullelameid From The Teachings Of Our Sages. The Jewish Education Program JEP by Rabbi Mordechai Katz JEP Publications, Distributed by Feldheim Publishers Ltd.
Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda Blank