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Rabbi Yehuda {Leonard} Blank MS, BCC
Vice President of Professional Development and External Affairs
Chair of the Chaplaincy Commission
Rabbinical Alliance of America/Igud HaRabbonim
917-446-2126 rablenblank@gmail.com
*** October 31, 2024, Tishrei 29, 5784***
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It has been a very long season from Elul reciting the Selichos, the Yomin Noraim, Succos and Shimini Atzeres. Now comes the greeting we give each other “hut a gutten vinter”, “have a good winter.” It means a long time before the next holiday which will be Chanukah and then another long period until Purim with possibly cold and dark days ahead. For some it means darkness of loneliness, of solitude, not being able to go out in the cold days and nights ahead. Self-care, well-being and having a positive attitude and approach in life is important. For those who are able to attend lunch programs, meaningful and pleasant events, presentations, shiurim, and so on is beneficial. Those who are able to attend minyanim especially on Shabbos is very important. But for those who for whatever reason find it difficult to go any place, being invited to Shabbos meals can make the difference of having a whole day being alone and feeling alone. For many Friday nights, especially during the long Shabbos evenings when phone calls cannot be made, or the radio or computer cannot be turned on can make the loneliness even more profound and possible feelings of unhappiness. So, what suggestions can be made to enhance self-care and ultimately happiness for ourselves as well as for those who we minister to. Please read ahead for self-care tips and also words of advice from Rabbi Dr. Twerski.
Psychology Today
Htpps://www.psychologytoday.com
“Self-Care Tips During Winter. What to do when cold weather challenges mental health.”
Deborah Serani Psy.D. Posted December 17, 2019 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
THE BASICS
Source: Pixabay
It’s long been known that weather changes negatively affect mental health for many people.
As the seasons change and there’s less sunlight during the day, children and adults can feel tired, irritable, and even sad.
The limited sunshine, which regulates our circadian rhythm, results in metabolic changes that significantly affect our well-being.
What happens in winter is the feel-good neurotransmitter serotonin is decreased, while the neurotransmitter melatonin associated with depression and sleepiness is increased. This means you’ll likely feel more sleepy, irritable, and sad during these months.
Self-Care Helps
The cold-weather months can present a unique set of stressors. Not only do people spend more time indoors than outside because it gets darker sooner, but they’re also less likely to socialize or connect with others.
The additional drop in temperature tends to keep both social and physical activity to a minimum. You don’t feel like driving, exercising, or traveling. You feel cold, weary, and achy. Aside from going to work or school, the isolation of winter can lead to loneliness and feelings of helplessness.
How to Create a Self-Care Environment
One way to combat the winter blahs is to build a self-care repertoire at home or at work. This means buying or creating soft and inviting things – and having them at your fingertips.
- Buy candles, room sprays, or essential oils with scents that relax you. Leave them in your bedroom, bathroom, or workspace—so they’re just a grab away.
- Select a mug or cup that’s special or comforting to you. Have one that’s special in this way both at home and at work. Fill it with soup, tea, coffee, hot chocolate, warm milk – and enjoy the moment.
- Plan for self-soothing by having preset radio stations that play relaxing music or iTunes playlists that bring spa-like surround sounds.
- Keep a stock of beauty and health products, like sugar scrubs, bath salts, shower fizzies, masks, and lotions so they’re easy to use.
- Make sure you have comfort foods or baking items on hand to cook for those moments of culinary self-care.
- Keep coloring books, writing journals, and art supplies near so creative self-expression happens easily.
- Don’t forget to use the simple art of moving, stretching, and walking to awaken and soothe your body during the winter months.
A Calendar of Examples
One of the best ways to self-care during the winter months is to focus on feeding your senses. Making sure you see, hear, taste, feel, and smell enriching things will help ease the challenges that come with winter.
Below is a graphic with a variety of self-care experiences.
Source: Deborah Serani
Remember, self-care is about making time to take care of yourself. Carving out moments to nurture your mind, body, and soul will have far-reaching positive effects. Not only during these cold, dark winter months, but in every season.
Eye Opening Abraham Twerski Quotes On Self Esteem, True Love, Happiness and More
by Mukesh Mani
February 25, 2019 (Updated: January 31, 2021)
Abraham Twerski is an American Rabbi and a psychiatrist who has written over 60 books most of them in the category of self help. The focus of his self help books are self awareness, self acceptance, increasing self esteem and self love.
He has also written several books with Charles M. Schulz, the creator of peanuts (comic strips) and popular characters like Charlie Brown and Snoopy.
His bestselling books include ‘When do the good things start?’ and ‘Waking up just in time’ both of which feature illustrations from Charles M. Schulz.
Self love is paramount to making your life happy and fulfilling. Without self love, more often than not, you will end up attracting situations in your life that are not in alignment with your true desires leading to deep dissatisfaction and a sense of lack.
So what exactly is self love? Self love entails understanding yourself, accepting yourself, valuing yourself, believing in yourself, forgiving yourself, taking care of yourself and always putting yourself first.
So does self love makes you selfish? Not at all, self love makes you authentic; it helps you shed the pretense and connect with your true self. And when you present your true authentic self to others, you are being anything but selfish.
Also, it is only through loving yourself are you capable of loving others, it is only in understanding yourself do you begin to understand others (through empathy), it is only by valuing yourself do you learn to value others, it is in forgiving yourself can you forgive others, and it is only by accepting yourself as you are do you learn to accept others as they are. So self love is anything but selfish. It is the greatest act of selflessness you can ever undertake.
“Happiness is self fulfillment. If a person neglects fulfilling any capacity or trait that he has, there is an inherent feeling of unhappiness.” – Abraham Twerksi
“If we took the effort to realize, what we really are, the strength and the capacity that we have, the wonderful traits that we have, and develop them to the fullest, then we will be happy.” – Abraham Twerksi
Interpretation: “According to Twerski, self-awareness is the key to happiness. When you get to know and understand yourself in the deepest sense, you will realize what your true strengths and desires are which will help you attract the right people, the right circumstances and the right opportunities into your life leading to fulfillment and happiness.”
Click on this link for the video of Rabbi Dr. Twerski on happiness. You will also be able to view Rabbi Dr. Twerski videos on other important topics. You might have to press Ctrl and Alt keys.
Of course, it is important to have emunah and betachon in H. As rabbis, rebbetzins and chaplains we have an important mission. Our mission is to imbue encouragement with empathy, sincerity, compassion and understanding. We listen and we share our feelings and chizuk from our hearts. There is always a ray of hope. No matter how small that ray might be, there is always some type of hope which we are able to help find what that hope might be. It truly is important to feel for the person we are ministering to and what he or she is going through. It is not suffice to say everything will be all right. For a person who is experiencing some type of fear, or worrying about something is real to that person. A person who is experiencing loneliness or emptiness in his or her life is not something that can be diminished with a wave of a wand. Helping to uplift a person’s spirits is meaningful. However, the words we share should always be appropriate and with wisdom. In the tefillah of Modim anachnu lach we recite in our Shemoneh Esrei are the words of hope and the kindness of H. There will always be a light at the end of the tunnel. We are mispallel to help guide others with the hope of being able to find that light in their times of sadness, of loneliness, of challenges and brighten their lives with our kindness. H loves us and wants the best for all of us. We can truly be a sheliach of H helping to bring goodness into their lives. May our lives be filled with Torah, Avoda and Gemilus Chasadim. May this year be filled with good health, simchas hachaim and Shalom Al Yisrael..
Sincerely, Rabbi Yehuda Blank.